Pinned but Fluttering

Chapter 34

Alice shrugged, but her eyes looked worried. “After what happened before, it's my best guess.”

Edward made a strangled sound, then turned away from me as if he didn't want me to see his expression. His evasion sent a shiver of fear up my spine as questions and thoughts continued to bombard my mind.

Who is coming?? Not a stranger, as he or she or they had been here before. So who? And why were they hiding it from me? Was this whole thing something about me?

Carlisle's reaction, Alice's worry, Edward's panic...I shook my head, hoping that someone in this wacky family would make sense, but no such luck. Damn.

Once again Edward started pacing between Alice and the end of my bed, back and forth, one of his hands pulling nervously at his mess of auburn hair. “They can't come here, not after all she's been through,” he muttered angrily. Was he talking about me? He stopped for a moment, narrowing his dark eyes at his father. “You can't allow it, Carlisle; it isn't safe. I don't care who it is—we can't let them near her!”

Carlisle sighed. “Well, let's deal with Mrs. Fairfield first, then we'll move on from there,” he stated firmly, then disappeared down the hall.

Esme was still sitting beside me, and she patted my hand absently, smiling at me weakly. “I'll go prepare some tea for Mrs. Fairfield. I'm sure she'll want to chat with you, dear.” She swallowed hard, then looked me in the eye. “Bella, you need to do whatever is best for YOU. Don't worry about us. We'd love to have you stay, of course, but we want whatever is best for you. All right?”

Her motherly arms surrounded me in a gentle hug, and I leaned into her embrace for a moment as I felt her kiss the top of my head. My eyes filled with tears again at her loving gesture. God, it felt wonderful to have parents—parents who love me and want what's best for me.

What a foreign concept.

“I'm sorry,” I gulped, ashamed both of making a decision that would take me away from the Cullens...and embarrassed by my constant waterworks. I had gone for years at a time at the Blacks' without allowing myself to cry, and here at the Cullens' I cried at every blinking opportunity. Literally.

It was frustrating...and somehow freeing...to finally be able to let down my guard a little and not stuff my emotions down deep to fester like I usually did.

Then it struck me.

Despite their secrets, I actually felt safe here in the Cullens' mansion.

Safe.

Protected.

Loved.

Could their secret be as monumental as Jacob's? After all, I had lived under the same roof as a fricking wolf for who knows how long?

Of course, look where THAT got me....

No, I couldn't live with secrets.

But part of me wanted to try to stay here anyway, secrets and all.

The whole thing was really confusing.

Esme let go of me and rapidly left the room, not looking back, but I noticed that her shoulders were shaking the way mine did when I cried.

Jeez, now I was making the gentlest person I know cry, too.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping dispiritedly into my pillows.

My room was not empty yet. Rosalie had followed Esme from the room, so now I was left with Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Edward. Jasper moved to the center of my room as he approached my bed. Another strange hissing sound split the silence, and I noticed Edward's black eyes fixed malevolently on his brother.