Finding what i didn't know was missing

chapter 15

"But what?"

"But I didn't want you to know because I was scared to tell you" he looked at me confused.

"Why would you be scared you know Ion judge you"

"I know but i wasn't necessary scared of you. Okay look jimmy, the reason me and Timothy didn't work out was because he became so aggressive and bossy and kinda forstful, he would grab me by my arm and scream at me if I "talked back" and he was just mean but not at first. I wanted to tell you at fist but when he got like that I decided not to"

"no you still shoulda so I could beat that niggas ass for touching you like that, ion know what the fuck he thought this was"

"Well listen that's not all" I sat up and put my arms on the table " I want you to stay calm when I say this jimmy I'm serious"

"What the fuck is it?"

"Do you have your knife and taser on you? Or your gun?" I asked. I don't need him running after to kill anyone.

"Yeah why niggah?" I put my hand out.

"Hand me them please or im not telling you"

"Niggah if I gotta do all at I know its serious so I think the fuck not"

"Jimmy! Just give me them please"

"Alright shit I got my fist so I'm good still to beat a niggas ass" jimmy handed me his bookbag.

"Why you give me this?"

"niggah do you want me to hand it to you so someone can see and I go to jail"

"Oh right sorry" I took his bag.

"Alright now spill"

"Okay.." I cleared my thought "okay look I'm just going to tell you because I love you and you're my best friend okay" he shook his head okay "so Timothy.....raped me the night before he left and my dad was there and heard everything and did nothing about it. He called me a fag and basicly blamed me for it. I kinda felt it was because I didn't really fight back like I should have but it happened so quick I didn't know honestly what to do. like I felt, you know, weak, after because I just layed there screaming for help instead of fighting but I thought my dad would hear and help me but he didn't..." I was in tears by now. I stared at the window not wanting to look at jimmy. I was too embarrassed  to. "And when I did come to him I could barley walk and I was bleeding and crying and he literally didn't seemed faced by it. He said what he said and left. He left me there in pain and I had to clean my self up and try to make myself feel better but how can I if I just was raped and my own dad didn't even care to help me. It hurt and it still dose thinking about it. I would say I wish I had my old dad back but he never was a good dad and my mom cares but she is a fucked up mom and always have been" I closed my eyes and looked down. I've told Kevin what happened but I never pored everything I was feeling out. for as long as I remember I've held so many emotions in. About the rape, the hitting, my dad hating me, my mom for not being there like she should. I wanted to tell her about Timothy but I was scared. I've stressed over making sure the girls had what they needed. I never realized how fucked my life is.

I finally look at jimmy and he had tears coming down. And his face looked pissed. He just sat there staring at me. "Jimmy?" I said. He looked down at the desk.

"I'm sorry that all of this happened to you June. I don't know what to do about yo bitch ass father but I definitely know how to deal with what eva that niggah name is and trust me June you don't have to worry about him no more because when I see or find him, his life is over and I put that on my.... "Jimmy I don't want you doing nothing please it was along time ago it's over" " fuck that shit. If you still crying and hurting over it then it's not over. How come you have to deal with the physical pain of it and the mental and emotional pain, when that bitch geta walk around happy and not have no consequences. Naw that shit don't sit right with me"

"Jimmy if you do anything it's going to make me feel worst so please think about what you're going to do please" jimmy looked at me then pulled me into a hug.

"What ever man I love you and that shit you told me was some fucked up shit. You're my brother and I don't like seeing you hurt"

"I love you too thats why I don't want you to do anything that could take you out my life wather it's temporary or for good" I got out of Jimmy's arms and looked at him serious. I don't need him going to jail or getting killed. He's family and right now I feel like I'm running out of family.

"I'm not making no promises but we'll see."

..…......

Okay just so any one's
confused.

First: Timothy was never a new student at the school but of course jimmy didn't know that. He was there for June that's it.

Second: if u think I messed up when jimmy talks, no its just how he talks 😂 no errors there.

And last, if i ever messed it up. Anna is 5 and Lisa is 2.

Comment, vote and keep reading. Thank you guys honestly for reading and everything 😊💖