Perfection

Perfection, a word with a million meanings. A word that is taken so seriously and so lightly at once. A word that could make someone's day at once, or wreck them all together. A word that could give life, but can easily take it away. A word that both shattered and peased together my world.

To be honest, I try. I try to outdo people's expectations, but I always fall short. I'm not the only person who feels this way.

Perfection in this society means to not be yourself. And we lose ourselves trying to be perfect. We cut and we cry, we cuss and we lie in order to be perfect.

We cut as a way to be free, we cut because we are abused. Physical abuse is one thing, Verbal abuse is another. The scars fade and the wounds heal, but the memories of all the names we were called remain. Every cut is a memory, every scar an insult. We try to forget but we can't. Not unless we cut. Not until we bleed out all the names we were called. Because what you said didn't just stay in our heads, it became a part of us. It penetrated our hearts, our minds, and our lungs. It seeped inside our every bone, every organ. It became our souls. So the blood in our veins became tainted. But with every cut, we let it out. Every drop of blood in our bathroom sinks, on our floors. All the blood that soaked into our carpet was a memory. A reminder that we are no longer innocent, because of all the names, the insults and the lies.

We cry because of the pent-up anger. The pain, the lies. all the emotions we held in as everything was thrown at us. We shed a tear for every fake smile we put on after the names. All the, "I'm fine"s that we spoke and all the little things our "friends" did that they thought we didn't notice. We held fast when people threw boulders at our armor but shattered when a pebble skimmed our hearts.

We lied to keep you off our tracks. Every time you asked if we were ok, or if we were hungry, or if we had friends, we lied. Because in the end, you were important enough to us that we lied. We lied to keep you happy so you wouldn't stress about us, We should receive Emmys for all the performances we pulled. But we were dying inside. Every time we lied, we kept you in the dark was because we loved you. We didn't want to worry you, so we lied.

we cuss to get our message across. People only listen when you do something wrong so cussing was a way to get noticed. We cussed to be heard. We caused trouble to get seen. All of this was a cry for help. Every cus was a flare sent up in hopes to we'd get noticed. But the spark died before anyone could care enough to look.

Perfection is a word that has torn our society limb from limb. Iy has been drilled into our heads that we must be perfect. society has been so blinded by perfection that they don't notice. They didn't notice the people that didn't fit their definition of perfect. The only time they would acknowledge our existence is when they insulted us. When they made fun of us for not fitting in. They would go out of their way to make us feel unwanted. so we figured that since they went out of their way t make us feel useless, we really must be.

But perfection is a word with a million meanings. To society, it is to be the prettiest, the skinniest, the one with money. To not be you. But perfection to me is the girl who cuts herself to let go of the pain. The boy who tried to kill himself twice. The guy who cusses so much he puts a sailor to shame. All this is my definition of perfection because they are being true to themselves.

To all the Kim Kardashian wanna be's and all the future miss worlds, and all the society-is-always-rights. we are mistakes. Oddities. But to me, we are the future, to me, we are true perfection.

Every cut is a scar in the making and every scar is a trophy. A trophy that shows you made it through. Your scars are a part of you, and if you get judged because of them, so what? Whoever is judging you doesn't deserve you.

Every tear is fuel to the fire, The fire that burns deep inside you. The fire that made you keep going. Your tears are a sign of resilience. To everyone who ever said you're worthless, you are a champion. Thank you to all the people who ever said we sucked, if you hadn't, we wouldn't be the amazing people we are today.

Every cuss was a way to retaliate. To retaliate all the things you ever sad to us. we might have lost it on you but at least we didn't hurt you.

And every lie was a promise. A promise to tell you the truth eventually. When we were better when all the wars ended and the dust settled. It might not be today, but the day will come when we can look you in the eye and say, " thank you." and tell you the truth, so just wait.

We might be broken and afraid. we might be sad, and alone, But we are the true definition of perfect.