When I was 13 I made my first cut And you found out, I remember you didn't look at me the same way and you had a hard time talking to me for awhile but then we did talk about it... and do you remember what you said?
I bet you don't... but I do.
IF YOU ARE SO MISERABLE THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF AND BE DONE WITH IT
See I remember those conversations and I forgive you but I can't forget.
Did you know that your words gave me 3 new scars? I bet you didn't.
I try to tell you how your words hurt but every time you justify it, always saying that you get frustrated or how I just don't want to hear the truth so I stopped saying anything because I know you always have a way to justify it and to you it makes sense.
But I hear those words late at night when I can't sleep I hear the monster in my head reminding me of your words but you will still find a way to justify it
but you say these things at my expense and yet those rare moments when I get so upset that I say something you tell me I'm being disrespectful.
So you can take your frustration out on me but I'm not supposed to ever retaliate? I don't understand.
And those sleepless nights when that one thing is on my brain you can bring out the worst of that monster inside my head.
You have never helped me fight it and never tried to find out how you could
AND YOUR WORDS FUEL IT AND YET YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BODY CHECKS AND YOU SAY IT AFFECTS YOU WHEN IT DOESN'T
BUT WHEN IM THROWING AWAY BLOOD SOAKED TISSUE AND CLEANING UP THE OPEN WOUNDS ON MY BODY YOUR NOT THERE AND YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN
I LOVE YOU BUT YOU PUT THE BLADE TO MY SKIN AND ALL I DO IS MAKE THE CUT
YOU HAND ME THE RAZOR AND LEAVE ME WITH THE AFTERMATH
AND YOU THINK I OWE YOU THESE ANSWERS BUT I DON'T
YOU ARE READING
My Diary
Non-Fiction⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ This is just a bunch of stuff going on in my head that I don't tell anyone So I write it on my phone
