Tainted Love [Black Veil Brides]

Chapter 20

“God, I'm so sorry.” Rose wept, covering her face with her hands.

“No, don't. Come here.” I took her in my arms and held her, stroking her hair. She calmed down and looked up at me.

“I-I'm...” She struggled to find the words but I shook my head.

“I just want to know why, Rosie.” I caressed her cheek, holding her close to me.

“I don't know. I just felt so, so empty. Everyone thought I was lying in court and I can't get those images out of my head. That night...” She trailed off, pain creeping into her eyes.

“Don't say anymore.” I hushed, stroking her hair, brushing out the purple locks with my fingers. I bit my lip knowing that this conversation was far from over. I rubbed circles on her back and kissed her temple as she cried some more.

I held her tightly for a while before bringing her face up so she was looking at me. “Rosie, you're going to have to get help.” I told her.

“I know. They probably think I'm a freak.” She mumbled.

I shook my head. “Sweetie, they know that you're scared and that you weren't thinking right. You're not a freak.” I insisted.

“What if I was?”

“What?”

“What if I was thinking right and I did want to end my life?” She shot back.

“B-But why would you want that?” I stuttered, a confused look on my face.

“To die, Andy.” Her facial expression changed and became one of a dark nature.

“Why?” I asked softly.

“He got away, Andy. I was made to look like a liar and I can't stand myself. I'm no good and I never have been. You don't understand how hard I have to try just to get out of bed. It shouldn't have to be this difficult...” Rose spoke, her eyes watering again. I pinched the bridge of my nose and stood up.

“I wish I could make it better, sweetie.” I sighed, crossing my arms.

“But you can't. Nobody can. All I do is make people miserable. My own parents don't even want me.” She spoke, hurt in her voice.

“Listen, that may be the case but we want you. All of us.” I insisted, smiling softly.

“Do you still love me?” She asked timidly. I walked over to Rose and sat down, taking her hand in mine. I brought it up to my lips and kissed it.

“Rose, of course I still love you. No matter how many times you think you've screwed up, I'll always love you. The court case is no big deal, it doesn't take away the fact that you were telling the truth. I know it and you do too and that's all that matters. You shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed because you're more beautiful than ever right now.” I told her, meaning every single word. A blush crept up her neck as she gave me a small smile. There was a knock on the door and then it was opened.

Rose's smile disappeared as quickly as it had arrived.

*

Rose's POV

I'd hurt Andy. I'd hurt him a lot because of my own stupid, bitter actions. I could see on his face how disappointed he was and it broke my heart. All he's ever done since we got together was treat me well but I threw it back in his face by doing something foolish. God, I was such an idiot. Yes, I wanted to die but I didn't think about Andy. I was being selfish and didn't realise what or more who I was leaving behind. He loved me so much but I didn't deserve him.

My judgement was clouded at the moment as two figures stood before me. Andy gripped my hand, careful of my wrists and stood there, a guilty look on his face.

“Rosie!” My dad exclaimed, not making any effort to hug me or even come closer. However, he looked a little lost and unsure.

“Told you, didn't I? I always knew she'd end up here..” My mother scoffed, turning her nose up at me. I squeezed Andy's hand as her words cut me deeper than any razor ever could.

“I can't believe you'd do something like this, Rose. How could you?!” My dad worried, sympathy in his eyes. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, all I felt were tears welling up in my eyes. I felt Andy rub my back as he looked at me.

“Do you want me to go?” He whispered. I shook my head furiously, not wanting to be left alone in the same room as my parents.

“Rose, why did you want to die?” My mom asked bluntly. I blinked a few times before finding the courage to speak.

“He got off.” I mumbled, looking down at the white bed sheets.

“Who, the rapist?” The way she said it made my skin crawl. She wasn't full of sympathy like any normal mother would be but full of hate and uncertainty instead. Like I'd made the whole thing up.

“Yes, him.” I said in a quiet voice.

“That's pretty pathetic, Rose. I didn't raise you so you could become this weak.” She spoke venomously. My mouth dropped open in shock at her words.

“You have no idea what I've been going through for the past two years! You've never cared and you still don't! You didn't care that your only daughter got raped and you didn't care that she tried to kill herself either. Now, you tell me who's more pathetic?” I spat, my heart hurting with my own words. I didn't like admitting things.

“I think you should leave. I thought you were going to be civil.” I heard Andy speak firmly, letting go of my hand and opening the door for my so-called parents.

“I'm done with you, Rose. I'm done.” My mother spoke, shaking her head and leaving. My dad, on the other hand, looked at me with pain-filled eyes.

“I'm so sorry.” He said, turning his back on me once again, following my sorry excuse of a mother. All his life he's done that. He's never once stuck up for me.

I looked up at Andy and wiped my cheeks.

“Please, can you not call them again?” I closed my eyes briefly, swallowing hard.

“Of course not, Rose. I'm so sorry.” Andy said as he laced his fingers through mine. I managed a brief smile as I try to forget about my parents.

There's was just something in my mother's eye.

A cold and distant emotion, almost like hate.

My dad seemed a little ambiguous; he was only going along with that she was saying.

In truth, I don't want to love any of them but I did, they're my parents after all. However, they just didn't love me back. Or if they did, they didn't exactly show it in the way I would have liked.

I had this ache in my chest but I closed my eyes and felt Andy stroke my hair.

“I think you should get some rest, okay?” He said, smiling gently.

“Yeah, alright.” I agreed, watching Andy sit down and lace his fingers through mine.

“I'll be here.” He promised, still smiling. I knew he was hiding the pain he felt for me. What I'd done hurt him a lot.

“Thanks.” I said, closing my eyes.

“I love you.” I heard him say as I lost consciousness. It was so genuine and true.

If only I'd remembered that earlier.