sunrise || m.h.

Sun

I guess you couldn't call it love, could you? I didn't love Matty. He didn't love me. He was a friend, just a friend. Half of me secretly wished it was love, just to know what it felt like. My mind dwelled on that thought, what it'd be like loving Matty. It wasn't hard to imagine. He has good looks, a charming personality, and is one of the kindest people I know. What's not to love?

I sighed and continued to watch out the window, the sky was a bubblegum pink, flecks of yellow popping in and out of the clouds. The sky was mostly lit up, the city surrounding Matty's apartment glowing from the colorful sky. Only a few people were driving in the streets and even fewer walking down the pavement. I watched a girl walking her dog, both content and happy with life. I kept my eyes on her, studying on how to be content and happy with your life. How do you make yourself happy with life?

"There you are." Matty said from behind me.

I jumped slightly, turning to look at him.

"How long have you been up?" He asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting in the floor next to the windowsill.

I pulled out my phone, checking the time.

5:23 am.

"A little over an hour."

He looked out the window, staring up at the sky.

"It's really beautiful in the mornings." He said, not taking his eyes off the sky.

I didn't take my eyes off him either.

"Yeah."

My voice sounded quiet and distant. Almost like it wasn't my own.

I watched his eyes roam the sky, taking in all the different colors and shades. He watched the sun peek up from behind a building, shining light into the window.

I hadn't realized that the entire time he'd been mesmerized by the sky's beauty, I'd been mesmerized by his.

Turning back towards the window, I leaned my head against the pane and closed my eyes.

I had so many thoughts swirling my mind. Most of them being about Matty.

I hadn't realized it yet, but I started to love him. Maybe just a little bit, only a small, unimportant bit. But in the back of my mind, I knew it was there.

"Did you make coffee?" He snapped me from my thoughts, opening my eyes to see his tired ones meet mine.

I laughed, swinging my legs off the sill.

"Yeah, like an hour ago."

I stood from my spot on the windowsill and went into the kitchen, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.

I took the coffee pot and touched my hand to the side. Still warm. Pouring an equal amount into each cup, I found the cream and poured a fair amount into the mugs. Picking them both up in my hands, I made my way back towards the window. Matty was still sat on the floor, his eyes glued outside.

"I don't know how you like your coffee, but I made it with cream." I said, setting the mug on the sill.

I sat down on the floor next to him, setting my coffee next to his and looked out the window.

Matty thanked me with a nod and looked back out the window, towards the city that had finally woken up. The sky was almost completely blue now,  only a few yellow streaks left behind in the clouds. More people were out walking their dogs, going on their morning runs, and getting into their cars.

My favorite time of day is before the world has woken up. When the sky is still blooming with color and everyone is still at home in bed, completely unaware of the peaceful world right outside their windows.

"What always has you up this early?" Matty asked.

I turned to look at him, his tired eyes looking at mine.

"I always wake up with the sunrise." I replied, glancing at the sky again.

He paused for a moment, thinking of what to say.

"Since your dad is out looking for you, we'll have to keep you a secret. We can't go out places much anymore and we can't visit George very well." He said quietly.

I frowned slightly, thinking about how I'd not be able to see George or Vee or any of my other friends.

George and Vee were the closest I'd ever had to best friends. It was nice to have people I could talk to. Vee seemed like the kind of girl that you'd squeal over boys with while George seemed laid back and like he'd be there through everything. I hoped he would.

"I'm so worried." I said, resting my head on the windowsill.

Matty cocked his head in question.

"What about?"

"Everything. Especially my father. If he finds me, I don't know what I'll do. I have no choice but to go back with him." I sighed.

"Who says you have to go back? You're legally an adult, you can make your own choices. If you don't want to go back, you don't have to go back."

I closed my eyes and tried to will away the dread swarming me.

"My dad is crazy. If he finds me, he'll kill me. Genuinely kill me. Or at least bring me very close to it."

Matty stayed silent.

I opened my eyes and watched him stare out in the city, watching people walk the pavement and drive by on the streets.

Studying his face, I watched  how his features changed when he'd look from one person to the next, the way he looked at each one differently.

I smiled as he watched a mum and her children walk across the road into a grocery store and the slightest upturn of his mouth made my heart flip.

Leaning my head back onto the sill and closing my eyes, I internally sighed.

I need to talk to George.