Ensnarl (Camren)

2/2

Camila was so different from Lucy.

Lauren compared them subconsciously even though she wouldn’t admit it. Not that Lucy wasn’t great for her, no, Lucy was wonderful. Lucy was sweet, sentimental and stable. The beginnings of their relationship and even years down the road she found that she enjoyed that side about Lucy. Perhaps it was really the lethargy from a chaotic lifestyle, or maybe it was the correct time to settle, either way, Lucy had fit into her life.

But she didn’t realize that Lucy was a piece of missing puzzle that wasn’t a perfect fit. Maybe it was a dent or a slight crack, but she didn’t fit as seamlessly as Lauren thought she did. When Camila came into the picture, she probably accentuated what was missing.

In fact, it was almost like Camila was missing, just because Lauren felt so right with her. Even though everything was, on paper, so bloody wrong, Lauren couldn’t push away how she felt. She gave up on explanations and relied on the natural responses her body and heart had to Camila.

Camila was so different from Lucy, in a pretty twisted way.

A month went by since Camila went up to Lauren in the café before Lauren finally spilled the beans. Lauren didn't know why she took so long. It should be something easy and if Camila decided to flip out on her she would just leave. That had been the way for her previously, she wasn’t scared of losing anything then. Lauren wasn't sure whether Lucy or Camila was the one who caused the change in her. Lauren didn't want to examine the reason behind her reluctance to tell Camila the truth as well, she was afraid that the answer would be that four letter word.

Love.

Love would make the whole equation messed up.

However, Camila didn't even look perturbed when Lauren broke the news about the existence of a certain Lucy. She simply nodded without much thought, her focus didn’t shift from the novel in her hand, and the only sound was the television that was showing some classic movie. It’s strange for Camila to have a TV in her room, Lauren had this fleeting thought, she didn’t seem like a TV addict at all. Just lazy, that was the conclusion Lauren arrived at as she poked Camila in the ribs, hoping to incite some response. Camila’s hand naturally moved to stop Lauren’s offending finger and held on to it tightly, seemingly more so than usual.

"I don't really care you know? I didn't approach you, okay, technically I did. But you stalked me first," Camila shrugged, nonchalance evident, "and that would make you the perpetrator. So whatever."

Lauren was a bit too accurate with her perception of Camila, she was almost hurt by the way Camila brushed off everything. She never imagined that there would be this day that she actually wanted to question someone about their feelings. Was it just sex? Weren’t there actual feelings involved?

Lauren grabbed the TV remote, switched off the television and plucked the book from Camila’s hand; the hotheaded side had gotten the better of her. The secret dwelled deep within, but Lauren just had to fish it out.

“Do you love me?”

Lauren saw the way Camila’s eyes flickered slightly, changing from irritation to a flash of confusion before she laughed. A floaty laugh, as though Camila was mocking her, and she didn’t like it.

“Surprise surprise, you're the last one I'd expect to say such things,” a hand landed on Lauren’s lap, “Lauren, are we in high school?”

“No,” Lauren scowled, “but I hope I won’t be hearing shit like I’m a good fuck.”

“But you are.”

Camila sounded so serious that Lauren couldn’t think of a good rebuttal instantly. Everything was strange, how she acted, the question she asked and how far Lucy was away from her mind. Her sole focus was Camila and that was probably a sin.