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Wednesday, May 31st 2023

4:45 P.M — Nora

"Are you sure, you don't want to eat with us, petal?" I shake my head as Anne begins removing ingredients from the pantry

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"Are you sure, you don't want to eat with us, petal?" I shake my head as Anne begins removing ingredients from the pantry. I lower my voice to a whisper.

"I've been procrastinating the past few weeks...I'm giving tonight my all, so I'll stop and grab a bite while I'm out."

"Oh, alright." She says, kissing my cheek. "I'll put the leftovers in the fridge." Rosie looks up from her addition worksheet, and Peter does the same.

"Mummy...where are you going?" She asks, suspiciously.

"I am going to shop for almost-six year old's birthday presents." Both of them smile brightly and they start to shout requests at me. I take every suggestion in, noting them mentally. I'm already in possession of the lists that they made, so a few extra toys weren't going to be so hard to remember. "Goodbye, I love you, be good for grandma." I say, kissing both of them, whilst trying to escape. But Rosie pulls me back by my sweater sleeve.

"Mummy!" I slip back in between her barstool and Peter's.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you remember the last thing on my list?" I sigh and look up to Anne, who's watching us with somber eyes.

"I do." Harry was the last thing on her list, and she wasn't alone in wanting him to be back for their special day. I wanted it more than anything, but I couldn't make a promise to her if I wasn't sure it'd come true. It has been thirty-one days since I've spoken to him, and in the seven years we've been together, I haven't gone more than ten hours without hearing his voice. Not once has it been this long, and I feel as though I'm losing a part of me—a part of me I know will return as soon as he does—but it was an empty space in my heart, nonetheless.

"And?"

"And...I..." I struggle to give her an answer. "He's going to do everything he can, Rose." This doesn't satisfy her, but she doesn't fight me on it, which I appreciate. I truly don't think I can stomach that conversation—rather, that argument. "I'll be back in a little while, okay?" I give them one more kiss each and then I wave to Anne before hurrying up the stairs to the front door. Just as I open it, my dad is ready to knock. "Dad! Hi...what are you doing here?" He hands me a small paper bag.

"I am...the worst father in the history of the world..." I wave him inside and close the door behind us.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, I was going through the box of your mom's...the stuff she left when she knew...you know. Anyway, in my grief, I couldn't go near it. I couldn't bring myself to hurt all over again...so I put it in the closet, sealed up and I didn't look at it until yesterday. She told me that she'd be doing this, but I...I didn't focus much in the end, aside from just...taking her in."

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