Divided / a Katy Perry fanfiction

Chapter seven - it's time

''His name is John Mayer.'' My world seemed to stop for a moment. Then my lips curled up into a smile. John Mayer. The one from that song who you love. He loves music and so does mom. I haven't stalked him that much yet but he seems like a good guy. What mom and he had seemed so real. They were truly in love. I'm made out of love. I truly am. Another smile.

Katy.

''His name is John Mayer.'' For a moment I thought Jade was going to faint, but then a smile came around her mouth. I was wondering what was going on in her head. Her face got serious but she still seemed happy. Another smile and she walked closer to me. I got hugged, really tightly. ''Thanks mom.'' A sigh of relief escaped out my throat. ''What now?'' I asked. ''Nothing.'' ''What do you mean nothing?'' ''It's all right.'' ''You don't want to contact him or something?'' ''No, I'm grateful you told me and I know what kind of face my dad has that's enough for now.'' I smiled at her. ''You weirdo, I love you so much.'' Her hand locked in mine and we walked in the direction of the car again. I stroke with the top of my thumb the top of Jade's hand. Memories of the time I hold her hand to keep her next to me in the busy streets came before my mind. I watched her face. I don't have to look down at her anymore. I just have to look next to me. She's the same high. She's so grown up. It hurts me I lost my "little princess." But I have a "beautiful queen" as daughter right now.

''Mom I have to tell you something too.'' Jade said, sitting down with a guitar on her legs, back home. ''Actually I have to show you something.'' I could read from her face she was nervous. She played a chord. One more and one more, slowly it turned out in a song. I was speechless. Then she started to sing. 

Wave by wave I get a little more wet.
Wave by wave fear disappears.
Every time the sea touches my skin,
I'm feeling a little more clear.

New ideas come up in my head.
A boost of power splashes in my face
I feel so much stronger right now.

Dancing on the water.
Playing with the sea.
Surfing over the waves.
Diving underneath.
But never sink to the bottom.
Always swim up again.
To the light.

The words of the song shut me in my heart. Her voice, so powerful, so young, so beautiful. It's all so perfect. Something I never expected. I learned her to play the guitar when she was like 6 or something, but I didn't know she kept playing it. Tears were standing in my eyes. ''Oh, mom please don't cry!'' ''But I'm so proud of you!''

I sat down on the dark brown sofa the next day. ''It's so nice you came over'' Shannon said, grabbing one cookie from the plate she just sat down. ''Yeah, I actually got some news.'' ''Oh, tell me what's up?'' I saw she her eyes getting interested. ''Uhm, I just told Jade who's her dad.'' ''Oh damn.'' She immediately lay down her cookie and grabbed her cup of tea. ''Let's spill the tea.'' I laughed and rolled my eyes. ''She reacted cool, she doesn't even wanna contact him or something.'' She slammed playfully on my arm. ''That's great!'' ''Yeah, I'm happy about that.'' I was expecting Shannon was going to ask the shit out of me, but she kept it cool: ''So, are you thinking about telling more people now?'' ''It's John, John Mayer.'' ''Holy fuck Katy, I wasn't ready, damn.'' I raised my eyebrows. ''You're okay?'' ''John, he's a good guy. Yeah, I'm fine.'' I smiled. ''Thanks.'' She grabbed my hand. ''Thanks for telling.

Jade.

''So John Mayer is your dad, right?'' Luke asked again. ''Yes.'' He scanned me. ''You look a lot like him.'' ''What do you mean?'' ''You got the same eyes and your hair is also a little bit wavy. When John's hair was longer he got the same waves.'' ''Okay.'' I went on with scrolling over my twitter timeline. ''You don't give a damn, do you?'' ''Nope, I have my mom. I don't need a father. It was only nice to know his name.'' ''So you don't wanna meet him?'' ''No, why should I?'' ''To actually know who he is.'' I rolled my eyes. ''I just told you, that's not necessary.'' ''Whatever.'' He walked over to me and stroke with his thumbs over my cheeks. ''You're so beautiful. No matter what is going to happen, remember, I think you're the prettiest girl in the world.''

''Jade Clayton Hudson, come downstairs now!'' I hate it when my mother uses my full name. ''It's like 10 o'clock in the morning!'' I yelled back. ''I don't give a fuck!'' ''All right, I'm on my way.'' I got out bed and walked in my pajama down the stairs. ''Fuck, it's cold!'' ''It's not cold, you stupid.'' ''Hey, calm down, I know you're not a morning person, but you don't have to be so rude.'' Mom ignored my comment and threw the I pad to me. I caught it and looked at the page what was opened. ''Explain!'' I read it quickly.

John Mayer the dad from Katy Perry's daughter?!

''Oh, fuck.'' ''Who did you tell?'' I played with my pajama shirt, avoiding moms eyes. ''Luke.'' I looked at her. I saw how she leaned on the sink. ''I'm dead, he's going to be so mad. I need to go to him. But what the fuck do I need to tell him. Oh yeah, by the way do you remember that time we had sex, yeah like 17 years ago.'' ''Mom! Stop it! Calm down please.'' ''Jade, you don't understand it!'' ''Of course I do. I'm not stupid. Just calm down, go talk to Shannon. She knows what to do. I'm going to Luke.''

I left the kitchen, walked up the stairs to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and sunk through my legs, with my back against the wall. I'm so stupid. How could I ever believe I could trust him. Loud sobs came out my mouth and tears rolled down my cheeks. Yesterday he was just so sweet and now he betrayed me like this. I didn't even wanna go to him right now.

Katy.

I'm not going to Shannon. I didn't even want her advice. I just went to John. It was time to tell the truth. I couldn't hide it anymore. With a heavy feeling inside I stepped in my car. I knew the way to his house. I have driven it for so many times. As itself I ended before his house. His front garden changed, but the big tree was still standing on the same place. I felt a weird kind of atmosphere, plus some weird excitement because I was going to see him again, but then truth hit me. I was about to tell him my big secret. I stepped out the car. My feet felt glued at the ground. Every step took me so much energy. I pushed on the doorbell. After what felt like forever the door opened and he was standing there. He. My celebrity crush for so long. The man I was madly in love with. The father of my child. John Mayer. ''Is it true?'' The first 3 weirds he said to me since I disappeared out of his life 17 years ago. ''Yes. Her name is Jade. Jade Clayton Hudson.'' ''Clayton is my second name too'' he said extremely calm. ''I know, that's why I gave it to her.'' He looked me deep in the eyes. Suddenly fire started to flame up. He pulled me roughly inside. ''Katy, Goddamn, why didn't you tell me?!'' and he pushed me inside the livingroom. ''I panicked.'' ''I'm the father! I have the rights to know!'' I still stood with my back towards him. ''I'm so sorry!'' ''Sorry!'' He turned me around and hold my both shoulders tightly. ''17 years! After 17 years you tell me I have a daughter.'' I felt his spit falling on my face. ''I hated myself for not having a kid: I have never learned a little baby to talk, never learned a child to play guitar, never forbid a teenager to go to a party. I missed that and now I found out I could have that.'' Our faces were so close to each other. Something inside me wanted to kiss him, but the fire in his eyes told me it was a bad idea. ''I have a child.'' He let go of me and I felt like I finally could breathe again. It seemed like something hit John. He stumbled to the sofa and sat down. His hands massaging his forehead. I didn't know what to do. I was kinda afraid for him. ''I don't understand it.'' ''Understand what?'' I asked. ''Why didn't you tell me immediately?'' ''I don't know.'' ''You don't know? You just keep a child secret for it's own dad.'' The angry tone was back. ''I'm so sorry.'' ''Fuck off with your sorry.'' ''Was there any moment you wanna tell me?'' ''Yeah, so many, but I was afraid for your response.'' ''And how is it? After 17 years. Katy I should have been so happy  if you had told me right away.'' ''There was no moment when I was pregnant.'' I bit on my lip. Why on earth did I say that. ''Get the fuck out of my house. Now!''

A/N: I'm sorry for this short chapter, but I'm so busy lately: school started again, work, it's all so muchh.

Anyway: I hope you liked it!

X Lotte