SmackDown: MadMike's Revenge!

Round 5: The Writer - @AngusEcrivain

"Well... I mean I'm not wearing this t-shirt ironically. I genuinely am God."

"Pah! Fuck off."

"Which is why I love talking to atheists. Y'all don't fuck around."

"..."

"You have no questions?"

"To be fair I was hoping the evening would wind up with you noshing me off in the lavvy."

"It still might, yet."

"All right, all right... Riddle me this, God. All the shit that goes on in the world; folk killing folk and whatnot, all in your name..."

"You want to know why?"

"Suppose it'd be a waste of an opportunity if I didn't."

"True enough. Well the answer's a simple one. I don't control people. Never have and I couldn't even if I wanted to, which I don't. See, that's the beauty of free will. People are free and able to do whatever the fuck they want. It's not my place to ruin their fun, even if that fun is had at the expense of others."

"That's pretty twisted."

"Oh they get their comeuppance in the end. Trust me, my boy takes great pleasure in torturing folk, especially child molestors, rapists and whatnot, and he's very, very good at it."

"And the victims?"

"As sad a state of affairs as it may be, I cannot involve myself in the matters of men... I tried that once before and suffice it to say, it didn't end well."

"What do you mean, you tried it once before?"

"Well you're not arrogant enough to think you're the first, are you? Humanity, I mean. There are billions of inhabited planets in the Universe, maybe even trillions, with just as many sentient races."

"Logic dictates that'd be the case, sure. Any of those sentient races human?"

"A fair few. It seems to be one of evolution's preferences."

"Oh so evolution's real, eh? Well that's good to know."

"Of course evolution's real, for fuck's sake. How else do you explain the dinosaurs? You're not one of those folk who thinks fossils were put in the ground as some kinda' joke and that the Earth is only six thousand years old, are you?"

"Nope... Atheist, remember. Besides, the fact Earth is about four and a half billion years old is irrefutable, I'd say."

***

The Writer sat back and grinned widely, before he raised the mug to his lips and gulped down the warm liquid.

If he had more time, he suspected his latest offering to the Gods of Literature might hold some potential, but that was something he most definitely did not have.

Outside a klaxon sounded and the Writer sighed, heavily. The planet was on a schedule of rolling blackouts as those governments who remained attempted in vain to prolong the life of Earth and her residents, and that meant for the next twenty-four hours, he would not be able to do anything that required power.

Deciding the mandatory power outage was the perfect excuse to go for a walk, the Writer put on a pair of shorts and his sandals and made his way outside. In the heat of the day it was baking and he kept the shade wherever possible as he made his way down the mountainside.