Disappear {Sincerely, Me, Sequel}

{1}

If I said life was good after that I'd be lying. After Jared had told me those two words, I shattered. I couldn't go to his funeral, everything reminded me of him. The color black or grey, his cat, smoking, and even emails.

It's been 2 years. I remember when Connor and Jared had stayed over my house to make sure I was getting better. They had brought a forth of their closet to my house. Connor never took his clothes. I kept them, stashed them into a box (along with the black hoodie he gave me) and put it at the top of my closet.

I graduated high school but I didn't go to college. I work at a small coffee shop down the road. Jared's going to college though. He moved into a two bedroom apartment, that I currently live in as well. He's studying to be some type of mega computer nerd. All I know is that he hacks like there's no tomorrow.

Oh, and my cast. I had taken a sharpie and scribbled all over his name. I couldn't stand to look at it. Connor's family seems to be getting a long fine without him. Well, Zoe was pretty upset about his death. She's changed a lot.

Honestly I've been a wreck. That last year of school was horrible. I kept zoning out or breaking down crying for no reason. Even now I still do that. I'm always off in another world.

Jared keeps telling me to move on but how can I? That last thing I ever said to him was to get away from me. Then he killed himself. Connor killed himself because of me. How could I move on with my life? When I ruined his?

I realized now I was blinded by jealousy of Jared. Connor did really love me but I was being too insecure. I which things would be different. I wish everything was different.

"Oh Connor, what will I do now?" I sighed to myself, staring at the ceiling.

I was laying on my bed, the light was off but the afternoon sunshine was making its way through the drapes.

"How about stop talking to yourself and get your lazy ass moving?"

I look over to where Jared was standing in the doorway. He actually managed to grow a couple more inches in these two years. But of course I was still taller than him. Since I also grew.

I rolled my eyes, "Go away. I'm trying to be depressing."

"It's depressing watching you try to be depressing." Jared says.

I groan and cover my eyes with my hands, "Just go away."

"Ummm how about no?" He says and walks over sitting on the side of my bed.

"C'mon Ev, you're 19. Be a big boy and get up. We're going out to lunch." He says, poking me in the stomach.

I giggled slightly, that was a ticklish spot, "Yeah okay, but we are not going to a family diner to get chocolate chip pancakes."

"True that." Jared nods and stands up.

I stand and grab a faded light blue sweater, slipping it on over my white shirt. I quickly put on shoes and walked out into the small living room where Jared was waiting. He was leaning against the couch and was on his phone.

He looked up at me, "Ready?"

I nodded and shoved my hands into my pockets but quickly take them out. That's something Connor would've done. Shove his hands deep into his pockets.

I followed Jared outside then down the apartment hall and outside.

I did end up getting a car. It was a small white one. I didn't drive it a lot since I usually walked to work. If me and Jared were going anywhere we'd always take his car.

I hopped into the passengers seat, while he turned the car on. He pulled out into the street and started driving to some restaurant or someplace.

"How's work?" He asks.

"Could be better." I say shrugging.

"Why? Something happening? Ooooo~ dramaaaa~" Jared grins, looking at the road.

"Yeah, for some reason this girl keeps hitting on me. She sits in the same spot everyday cause she knows I serve that table so that means I have to serve her. I don't know, she's just so.." I shudder, thinking about the lady.

"..just so... what?" Jared presses.

"Weird." I say.

"I'm sure if I saw her I'd have a different word then weird." Jared says.

"What are you implying?"

"I'm implying that this bitch isn't allowed to hit on you. That's all." Jared hums.

I smiled a little and looked out the window, "Thanks."

"That's what friends are for my dude." He says.

I watched as trees blurred and melted in image, looking as if they were a huge green blob. Cars zoomed by, colors melting into the burry scene.

I sighed and looked away and forward. Jared noticed when I started to play with the hem of my shirt. I do that a lot now. More than ever now. Or I bite my fingers. It's become a habit that I'm not really proud of.

"How are you're classes?" I ask quietly.

"Eh, they're okay. Most kids in there are crazy smart." He says.

"Then you're mad scientist smart compared to them." I mumble.

"Awww~ love you to Ev~." He grins.

"Shut up." I mumble, looking back out the window.

We arrived shortly after to the restaurant, it wasn't a family diner. It was a restaurant bar. I looked at Jared and he winked at me and got out of the car and started walking in. I sighed and followed him, closing the door behind me.

We walked in and the smell of beer hit me right away. A lady at the front looks at us.

"For 2?"

Jared nods, "Yeah."

"Right this way."

She lead us to a small booth and gave us menus.

It was silent till Jared broke it by whispering.

"Do you ever think, what did he mean by disappear?"

~~~

~Fro