Take me to church → derek hale [2]

9: emotions=chaos

     Grace kept looking at his features, not being able to deny the butterflies in her belly as she paid attention to the small details in his face, the same thing she used to do before she kissed him, the difference being the sorrow in his eyes. She could see the pain in the emerald shade of them, the pain he caused her and the pain he now had to deal with. The hatred he had for himself. Hatred because she was the one good thing in his life and he screwed it up. He was forced to let her go because he was afraid but, even now, that just sounded like excuses to him. He let her go because he was a complete dumbass and she deserved better. She deserved to be happy. She deserved better than him.

     But having her in his arms felt like his safe haven, to be able to be with her, feel her against him, look at the beauty that lay in every shadow, every tear, every smile, every gaze. She was his happiness, she was the light that accompanied his darkness. And it pained him that the light was now dim, the sparkle in her eyes overshadowed by the tears that flowed. She was his sunshine, but even stars dim. And that scared him. He wanted to see the light in her eyes, not the darkness behind them. He didn't want her to be like him, with walls so high he couldn't see the light, or with open wounds that he never let heal. He didn't want her to be stuck in the same painful cycle he was, pushing everything and everyone away just because people created emotions and emotions always led to chaos. Happiness always ended in pain, love always ended in heartbreak, life always ended in death.

     Yet, he threw away all those reasonings and all his walls when his eyes first lay on Grace. Even though it was evident she was scared of his presence, there was an undeniable chemistry between them as soon as their eyes locked together. It wasn't right and they both knew it but since when did that stop anyone? Maybe it should've stopped them. Maybe. But maybe it shouldn't have. Maybe they were meant to be. Maybe they were actually the best thing to happen to both of them. Just maybe.

•••

     Grace walked behind Derek and Isaac, her head low as they went towards the vet's main entrance. Scott opened the door as soon as he saw Derek behind it, furrowing his eyebrows as he lay eyes on Isaac. "What's he doing here?"

     "I need him," Derek said softly as he entered the vet, Grace and Isaac behind him.

     "I don't trust him," Scott said, glaring at Isaac as he entered.

     "Yeah, well, he doesn't trust you either," Isaac said casually as he walked past Scott. Grace sat on top of the desk beside them, crossing her legs as she looked at the three bickering boys.

     "You know what? And Derek really doesn't care," Derek retorted, making Grace smile as she looked down, "Now where's the vet? is he gonna help us or not?"

     "That depends," Deaton said, his arms crossed as he rested his body on the side of the wall, "Your friend, Jackson, are we planning to kill him or save him?"

     "Kill him."

     "Save him," Scott said simultaneously with Derek, shooting a glare to his direction as he heard him agreeing to kill him, "Save him," he instructed, making Derek roll his eyes as he gave in.

     Deaton nodded before leading them to the silver table, taking out a box full of jars and placing them in the middle. Isaac spread out his hand to grab one of the jars, being stopped midway by Derek, who threw it back. "Watch what you touch."

     Isaac sighed before resting his upper body on the table. "So," Isaac started, "What are you, some kind of witch?"

     Deaton looked at him, a jar in his hand, "No. I'm a veterinarian. Grace could be the witch. If she wanted to, of course. Her powers could go in many ways," Deaton said, his gaze still fixated on the jars, the information making Grace look up at the veterinarian, everyone's eyes on her, "Unfortunately, I don't see anything here that's going to be an effective defense against a paralytic toxin."