Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 148: "Am I Not Unwanted?"

"What?" he growled, narrowing his eyes. "Come to talk with me, have you?"

Xaphile's throat was glued shut; moving his feet from their rooted position, he hesitantly walked over to the table and sat down, leaden with grief that had no cause. When he remained silent and just sat there, Vordt drew back, giving him space that he didn't want.

"What's this about?"

Xaphile merely looked at him.

Now that he was here, he didn't know how to begin.

He was afraid.

Family was a part of his heart that had once been burnt to the ground and sown with salt, but Vordt, Zelphira, and Adariel had settled into it without him noticing. This man had somehow brought back the stupid, childish dreams that Xaphile had thrown away a long, long time ago.

Dreams of being loved, cherished, by his family.

Dreams that he had thought would have to wait until he could start one of his own.

Dreams that he was now scared of losing.

Vordt's eyes scrutinized every inch of his face.

"You don't look too happy," he noticed, and to his credit he sounded genuinely perplexed. "Is there something bothering you? It's not every day that I'm able to enjoy mortal drink, so if there's nothing..."

"What would you say if I thought the person I used to be was still inside me?" Xaphile abruptly asked, swallowing his sudden anxiety down. "You know, not just as memories that fell asleep, but... but as a separate entity entirely? One that could take control of me at any time?"

Vordt raised an eyebrow, and a cold expression flitted across his face.

"I'd say do me a favor and disappear so things can go back to the way they were."

Xaphile's heart went numb and the world around him turned grey.

Vordt's eyes looked so serious that his heart plummeted.

It suddenly made sense.

This man didn't care for him, not really... he had only gone along because he was hoping that Xaphile's mind would go back to the way it was before. He couldn't gain acceptance as he was. If the person he was in this very moment ever faded away, his uncle wouldn't bat an eyelash.
The time they'd spent together was meaningless.

"You don't care for me the way I am," he said blankly. "I see."

Vordt's brow furrowed when he slowly nodded, too numb to do much else.

"What brought this strange conversation up, anyway?" he grumbled, taking a swig of the liquid in the mug. "I don't like it when people ask me questions that hold no relevance. I hope I've made that clear now."

"Earlier, with Ella," Xaphile said, staring off into space with a cold feeling in his heart, "I lost control of myself, but it wasn't really me. I've been having strange dreams lately, and... well..."

Vordt froze, eyes shifting into a hard look when Xaphile swallowed back tears. He slid out of the chair and made his way towards the stairs, vision blurring over, legs trembling, ears burning.

But he refused to cry.

Even though the truth hurt like salt in a raw wound, he knew he could and would handle it. He had survived not being good enough once already, and he could definitely do it again. Just as he was about to take the first trembling step upstairs, someone snatched his wrist.

The world spun as he was jerked around in a circle.

Two clawed arms dug into his shoulders as he was forced to stare at Vordt's hard eyes.