All I Want

CHAPTER 5: I Can't Bear To Face the Truth

The camping trip was abruptly cut short much to the dismay of many but Heather (and the teachers). They decided it was better to keep what they knew under wraps so as not to scare or upset the other students. Going home on such short notice was a better option than finding out what just happened.

The ambulance left and was soon followed by the school buses. Somewhere at the back, Heather sat, almost traumatized next to Dan, but that wasn’t her only company. After some time on the road Dennis asked to substitute Dan in his spot and the latter obliged despite Heather’s refusal. She knew what was coming and didn’t want to talk to Dennis; at least not before she could confirm that Lily was okay.

‘Look at me, Heather,’ Dennis insisted not for the first time. Heather glanced, but turned away quickly. She couldn’t help but feel that this was her fault; somehow. Gently, he took her chin, turning her head to his, and surprisingly, Heather didn’t disincline. ‘I know you don’t want to think about it, Heather, but if I could I would be with Lily right now. Please just tell me what happened.’

‘I don’t know what happened, dammit!’ she insisted, and realized that Dennis was only showing concern for the girl he loved. Their eyes met; his showed worry and concern, her were teary and sad. ‘I’m sorry,’ Heather said, blinking copiously, ‘I found her that way, I don’t know exactly what happened, but you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know what happened.’

‘Exactly what is wrong with her?’

‘Honestly, Dennis, that is a question you will have to ask her yourself because for the life of me I couldn’t tell you.’

‘How do you mean?’ Dennis asked, confused. ‘I was asking why she’s in an ambulance.’

‘I know,’ she replied, ‘but the reason she’s in there extends well beyond her injuries.’

‘Mind telling me what these said injuries are, Heather, please?’ He sounded desperate and even more worried than before. Heather could tell all this, but she was content not saying anything. She wasn’t sure Lily would have wanted her to speak. Anyway, she thought, Dennis was bound to find out, so she spilled the beans rather easily.

Two days later Lily assumed she was ready to see people, but when she woke, she found she already had that decision made for her by the strange stocky man sitting at her bedside. Her first instinct was to ask just who the hell he was, but that explanation was given before she even opened her mouth.

‘Ah,’ the man said a little too cheery, ‘you’re awake.’

“Duh,” Lily was thinking, but she wasn’t really able to say it. She wanted to ask the man what he wanted, but he beat her to the punch. ‘I’m Kyle Walker,’ he said, stretching out a hand for her to shake, and she only grazed it lazily. ‘You and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other since I am now your shrink,’ he continued, ‘appointed by the hospital, of course.’

‘I don’t need a shrink,’ Lily found herself groaning, but Kyle Walker laughed it off.

‘Well, either that or you get thrown in a psychiatric hospital with a straight-jacket and a padded room.’

‘What makes you think I’m crazy?’ Lily asked, groaning with little more energy this time.

Kyle smiled and then sat back again, gazing at this once beautiful innocent teenage girl. ‘You’re not crazy, Lily,’ he assured her, ‘you just have a serious mental issue that needs to be addressed otherwise you will try – and fail – to kill yourself again.’

The words marred like hornet-stings in all the wrong areas of her body. Lily looked up at the roof, out the window, at her legs; anything not to meet Kyle Walker’s gaze. It was embarrassing enough that she tried to commit suicide, but that she failed was an even worse humiliation.