A Fresh Start

Chapter 4

Rick was walking with his head down.

"Hey," I said.

He looked up at me. It was as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I uh..." he started.

"Rick. What is it?" I asked this time, sounding nervous.

"I went to check the snares and..." he said turning back to look into the trees.

"And what?" I asked.

"There was a woman out there. She...she had the head of her husband. She tried to kill me..." he said.

"Wait. What?" I said cutting him off.

"She didn't. She killed herself. Said she 'wanted to be with him'. I just..." he trailed off.

He placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"Hey. Look at me. Some people can't be helped. That's not on you. It's what happens in the world that we live in now. I'm sorry you had to be close to that," I said wrapping my arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight.

"I was close to that. After Lori," he said.

"Hey. You came back. You were one of the lucky ones," I said after we parted.

"We can never let our guard down, can we?" he asked.

"No. I guess we can't. But what we can do is live in the now. Come on. Let's get you something to eat. You look like you can use it," I said.

I made a plate and handed it to him. I left him and sat by Beth.

"Everything all right?" she asked when I sat down.

"Yeah. For now," I said.

"I better go and check on Judith. She should be up from her nap by now. You coming?" she asked as she stood up.

"No...uh...you go ahead. I'll stay here for a few minutes," I said.

"All right. See you later," she said.

"See ya," I said.

She headed back to C Block. I finished up my food. I watched Rick eat his food by the gate. Scoping the area, obviously. Worry was peering its ugly head once again. I decided to stay there a while longer and make sure that he was okay. Once he finished his food, he made his way to me. I stood up with my plate in hand.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I think I'll go and talk to Hershel," he replied.

"Yeah. He's always a good person to talk to," I said.

He patted my shoulder and then took off to find Hershel. I wanted to follow him but it was best to give him his space. I had made my way back into my cell, laying down on the bottom bunk. I undid my hair and ran my fingers through it. Night was closing in. I closed my eyes and thought about what Rick had told me. I wondered what would have become of me if I didn't have the promise I made to my family before I found Rick. I wondered if I could've become like that woman Rick came across. What would have that looked like? I shuddered at the thought. At this point I was in and out of sleep. My eyes opened when I heard footsteps making their way to the cell. I sat up just as Daryl walked in to put his things inside. He was quiet while he leaned against the bunk bed.

"What happened?" I asked.

He took in a deep breath.

"We lost Zack," he said softly.

"What? How?" I asked getting up and standing in front of him.

"I thought that place was good. Walkers fell through the ceiling and got him. Maybe if I had checked before we..." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry. You do know that it's not your fault, right? Daryl, this isn't on you," I said.

"I'm...I'm just tired of losing people," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.

"I am too," I whispered.

He held me tighter.

"You want me to tell Beth?" I asked.

"Nah. I got it," he said when we parted.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm," he mumbled.

"I'll be back," he continued.

He kissed me and took off downstairs. I hope Beth would be okay. Wasn't really all that sure how she'd take the news. I was pacing back and forth in our cell. A few minutes passed before I heard footsteps again. Daryl made his way back inside.

"How'd she take it?" I asked stopping to look at him.

"She was fine with it," he replied.

"Seriously?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Said she was glad she got to know him," he replied.

I sat down on the bed.

"She must be in shock. I'll check on her tomorrow. Give her time to process it," I said.

He came and sat down next to me.

"You okay?" I asked looking at him.

"Gotta be," he said.

"You know you can tell me if you're not," I said.

He looked at me.

"Yeah. I do. Let's get some rest, huh?" he said.

"Yeah. It's been a long day," I said.

We adjusted ourselves where we laid next to one another.

"You gonna tell me how your day was?" he asked wrapping his arm around me.

I reached up and kissed him before I settled into his arms. I rested my head on his chest.

"Almost past out of dehydration out by the fences," I said nonchalantly.

He nudged my shoulder. I looked up at him.

"Well, not literally. But had I stayed out longer, I probably would have," I continued.

"Who got you to take a break?" he asked.

"Karen," I replied.

"I'll have to thank her," he said.

"Daryl, I do know how to take care of myself you know," I said.

"Yeah but you're stubborn as hell. Wouldn't be surprised if I came back and found you over at the infirmary somewhere," he said.

"Well, I didn't. And I'm not. Isn't that something," I said.

"Only 'cause someone was smart enough to pull you away," he retorted.

He smirked at me. I chuckled.

"Yeah. Then there was what happened with Rick," I said.

"What happened with Rick?" he asked.

"That I'll explain tomorrow. Right now, we need to rest. I promise I'll fill you in first thing in the morning, okay?" I said.

"All right," he said.

He grabbed my left hand and intertwined our fingers. I always loved it when he did this. He kissed my forehead before we both drifted to sleep.