Because I Love You✔️

Chapter 144: Come What May

Seeing him made her heart pound, but his face didn't hold any anger, just a bland melancholy, one she did not like and one she could not read. He looked down at her in silence, waiting for her answer.

He wanted to talk.

He wanted to get his negative feelings out of his system, she could feel it no matter how calm he may have tried to look.

Ella attempted to keep her composure, wondering what he was going to say.

Would he be angry with her, or would he be understanding?

In matters like these, predicting Xaphile was like betting at a horse race: she either got it all, or she went home broke.

"Snuck up on me, there," she said softly, finally lowering her eyes. "I'm fine... how are you feeling?"

"Like shit," he said. "As I'm sure you already know."

Ella winced internally at his tone.

She heard him take a few steps before he plopped down on the other side of the table; back hunched, he let his hands dangle between his knees so he could stare moodily out into the hall from within the confines of his hood.

"Tell me," she eventually said. "Tell me what you want to say.

Xaphile turned hard eyes on her.

"You should have listened to Vordt," he growled. "You shouldn't have stood up."

Ella cringed internally, but she didn't let her expression falter. Keeping her voice rational and free of accusation, she said, "even if I had listened, my leg would have broken again, Xaphile."

"That's not the point."

His eyes burned into her.

"Either way, I was going to get hurt," Ella said softly. "Vordt may have known it was coming because of the signs, but he didn't warn me, all he did was act rough and demanding."

Xaphile opened his mouth, then closed it again and took a deep breath.

"You always tell me," he said moodily, lips forging a grim pout, "that you'll pick me up if I fall, and that you're strong enough to keep me from doing so. You also told me you can't rely on anyone but yourself."

"I did," Ella said slowly, "but what does that--"

"You frighten me, Ella," he vehemently interrupted.

Shock ran through her.

"I... frighten you?" she asked thickly, hurt bubbling inside her when he nodded; she looked down at the floor with a face covered in guilt. "I... I didn't know."

He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Shut up and let me finish," he said a bit more softly. "You frighten me, Ella... but its because I care about you."

She froze, then turned her face to him with a heart full of longing.

"Then what am I supposed to do to keep from scaring you?" she asked, voice cracking a little. "I'm always going to be a target for danger, Xaphile... always. If the thought of me being harmed is what frightens you, I can't say that things will be all right."

"That's just it," he muttered, leaning forward and snatching her wrists. "It finally hit me earlier that you and I are exactly the same. You don't trust people enough to listen to them, and that is what scares me."

Ella stared.

His face was frustrated.

"I told you why," she reminded him. "I also told you that I'm hoping you'll be the one to walk with me through my adversities and hold me up."