Book 1: Into the Woods | Larry Stylinson ❀ [Werewolf AU]

24 - Full Moon

So all in all, Harry was pretty prepared for the werewolf life. The only thing he still needed to do was transition into his wolf form, and with the full moon fast approaching, Harry had been doing whatever he could for prepare for that moment. He was big on research, so for the past couple of days, he would spend his time in the library of the cabin just finding personal diaries of past wolves who documented their first transitioning. Harry wasn't sure if this was necessarily a good or bad idea because when he read what some of the wolves experienced through their transition, Harry felt nothing but fear. It was the vivid description of all 206 bones breaking and bending their body into the shape of a whole that made Harry's stomach churn uneasily. The way every muscle fiber stretched across the length of their body and ripped apart to fit the structure of an animal on four legs that had Harry's heart stopping short in his chest. It seemed painful and dreadful, and most of these wolves who turned for the first time took long hours until they were able to do so. Some ten hours, some five hours, and neither length of time seemed that appealing to Harry. Harry couldn't imagine spending the majority of his night in agonizing pain while his body suffered through the transition of becoming an animal. It was frightening.

The worst was when Harry found recordings of the past members who filmed their first transition. Harry would sneak away sometimes in the middle of the night to watch them in secret, watching these wolves completely break down on screen over how much pain they were enduring. Harry cried every time he watched it, begging to absolutely no one to let him not go through this. Even Louis would end up waking up to Harry's cries and rushing over to console the boy, trying his best to reassure Harry that he would be there to help alleviate the pain whenever it was Harry's time to turn, but no amount of comforting words could stop the fear that was rising inside of Harry. Harry was genuinely freaking out as the full moon got closer and closer, and he was just about driving himself to craziness the more he continued to research wolf transformations.

It was to the point where after watching one video of a werwolf downing a bottle of wolfsbane to help fight his transformation when Harry finally threw up. Watching this wolf gagging himself with poison and actually watching the bones in his body poking out of his skin and breaking in different ways just made Harry feel even more nauseous than he already did, and now it was to the point where he would get sick if he read or watched so much as a wolf transformation. Harry couldn't sit still without his skin heating up in nervous sweats and his hands getting extra clammy from where he kept them tucked against his sides. It seemed like nothing right now could calm Harry down with his fear of turning - not even Louis was able to get Harry to relax. No matter what Louis did, whether it was using his alpha voice or using his bond connection, nothing genuinely seemed to take the constant fear away from Harry.

Even when it came to Harry having his skill sessions with the other members of the pack, they realized Harry wasn't as invested into learning how to become a wolf as he was when he first started. Anytime Harry would go hunting with Luke and Ashton, he would throw up the food almost immediately after eating it. They didn't know if it was because Harry was anxiously shoving the food down his throat or if it was because his nerves were still on overdrive, but it was at the point where Harry couldn't keep any food down without tossing it back up. Even Zayn had problems with his defense lessons with Harry. Instead of Harry actively participating and learning the moves to prevent an attacker from coming upon him, Harry would just stand there and have hot flashes the entire time, getting tired and sweaty and nearly fainting if he so much as put a little bit of effort in to learning.

When Harry worked with Niall, his mind was so out of focus that he couldn't properly work any of the weapons Niall placed in front of him. Harry would either zone out or randomly start crying in frustration before he would give up all together and walk out on his sessions with Niall. Then with Liam, Harry all together stopped trying. He realized no matter what he did, he would always feel faint and weak, and when the arrows he shot started dying towards the ground before reaching the actual target, Harry saw no purpose in continuing. Harry just didn't feel like himself anymore, and he knew he was overly worried about his first transition, but he couldn't help but let it consume his mind. It was driving him completely mad and causing his own sickness to surface, but until the actual transformation happened, Harry couldn't stop thinking about it. Harry was more irritable and emotional now, and if Harry continued on acting like this leading into his actual transformation, then Louis knew he would have a very long and painful transition. Which, Louis didn't want that to happen.