chapter 6

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Chapter 6: Mindblown















GOING TO MY MOTHER’S HOME WAS A MISTAKE.






My mom was known to be the grumpy old woman with a child who followed her footsteps. The difference between my mom and I is that she enjoys being left alone. She doesn’t like it when people get into a fight and somewhat involves her into it. It’s happened before when two of our neighbours were having some kind of argument and involved my mother to pick between who was right and who was wrong. She simply told them that they were both wrong. Why did she say that? Because apparently, the only reason why they were both wrong was because they were involving my mother.




Her attitude was naturally sharp. Her glares can set someone on fire and the way she handles things are un heard of. Going to her house for a problem I had with Yassef was definetly not safe.



“Why are you here?” was the first thing she said when she opened the door.  One reason why she loved the fact that I was married, was so that she can have the whole house to herself without having a single young adult (me) bother her with her problems. But being married doesn’t necessarily mean ‘no mother’.




“Because,” I itched my nose, “I don’t want to be at my house”



She looked at my outfit and my tired hands holding on to all of my night belongings.  I did have a lot of things for just one simple night but it was all the things I usually need when I’m about to stay a night.


“Why?”



As you can see, a regarding normal mom would let her daughter in the house without permission. But my mom stood protectively in front of the door, making sure I don’t come in. Because who knows, her next moves might involve me turning around on my foot and back to my home.


“Because we had a small fight” I cleared my throat since my mother didn’t even care about the weird awkward silence she was putting, “It wasn’t really a fight.  It was more like an  argument I couldn’t bare”



“Go home” She was about to close the door on me but I stopped it with my foot.


“Mum, I know you don’t want me here but I promise it’s just one night. I can’t stand Yassef at the moment” It was all I had to say. My eyes said the rest of my plead.


“No.”




“Please?” I begged, “Pretty please?”




“Just one night?” She reconsidered. Wow, my mother really doesn’t want me here.



“I promise it’s just one night. I’ll be back by morning”




She sighed, “Very well”





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The night before was sort of easy on convincing my mom to actually let me stay one night. The harder part came the next morning.



“I don’t—” I paused to push myself back into the house, “Wanna go back!”



“Get out!”





Right when the morning came, my mother woke me up with the large noise of a spatula hitting a pan. She began to scream and sing traditional songs. When she was sure I had woken up, she lifted me up, me still half asleep, and brought me to the front door. And here we are now. 



“But I hadn’t even eaten breakfast yet!” I fought back but she was too strong. How sad is it that my mom wants me gone THIS BAD “It’s not fair! This isn’t what I meant by morning”



“Leave, this is not your home anymore!” she pushed one last time. I let her win by stop resisting and before I can say another word, she slammed the door in my face.




“Thanks Ma, you totally forgot to give me my stuff” I shouted at the closed door. In less than two seconds, and I mean literally, she opened the door and threw all of my belongings out the door and then slammed it again.



I looked through all the things she threw and checked for things that were missing, “My toothbrush!” I screamed at the closed door. My mom opened the door again, threw the toothbrush.  But this time before she closed it I put my foot in front of the door.



“Emaan—” she tried to kick you foot out of the way, “Don’t involve me in your calamities. Deal with it on your own”



“But ma,” I spoke softly this time, “I’m hungry and I haven’t eaten. I’m still your child”


She looked at me, her eyes softening for a while and her strength on the door became a bit more loose. But when she saw that I noticed that, she slammed the door once again in my heart broken face.



“Gosh!” I kicked a rock, “I could’ve left at noon!”


“Goodbye My lovely Emaan” she waved at me from the window, “Go to your prince charming”




She was so obsessed that I was married.  Not even one of my friends parents act the wag mine does and she even has the nerve to kick me out to go back to house that has a fight I hadn’t finished yet. Doesn’t she see I’m in pain?

And she also has the stupid audacity to say that he’s my prince charming. Gosh, I feel so mad.


I grab all of my things and throw it in my car one by one. I murmured so incoherent words on the way as I made my way in the car. When I got in, I buckled my seat belt and cursed at my mom from inside, “Thanks for nothing Mom”



“I let you sleep in my house.  That’s more than enough” She replied after she surprisingly heard me from her living room window. I grunted and backed out the car to go back to the house.





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I was stupid to believe Yassef would be home on a weekday. Where oh where could Yassef be? Oh right, the business he COULD’VE GIVEN ME.



If anybody feels taken off guard, it’s me. And if anyone would be feeling attacked, it’s me. He made me feel like no one can ever hire me that day. He made such a big deal about me working with him.



Maybe he had a good reason to. Maybe you really are just some crazy girl who can’t get a job for nothing. Maybe, there was something he doesn’t want you to know that is so extremely important.



Maybe.







But also, maybe Yassef doesn't really have an excuse other than the fact that he thinks I'm a stupid nervous wreck with no life who sits down in front of her computer watching cats and dogs all day. Maybe he isn't done judging me by my appearance. He's too much of a judger even bother stopping am I right? Of course I am.



There's still a lot of things I don't know about Yassef that I should know about him. I'm too much of an open book that allows him to judge me. But he purposely incloses himself and all around him to keep him a mystery from people like me. His whole life is a secret. The only things I know about him is that:

1) he's half sudanese and part Eritrean
2) He's handsome
3) his Mother is my mother's bestfriend
4) He works hard as a manager (And doesn't want to give me a job)
5) He's full of himself
6) He likes to piss me off.



None of the above are anything big. For me though:

1) I'm sudanese
2) I hate annoying people.
3) I have a crush on Yassef (Not sure if he knows about that but since we’re married it’s like supposed to be way more than just a teeny crush)

4) I’m addicted to my social networks and devices
5) I like annoying people
6) I want to impress him
8) I’m Feisty when I feel like it.



That’s all I know that he knows. But I’m pretty sure he knows more than I think he knows. All I have to do is search through his stuff to know everything he knows about me. Not that he’ll know about my secret plan.
.



Too many ‘knows’. I need to find a knew word.




How about Figure out?





That works.






He’s not home. Right now is literally all I got.





When realization came to me that I should probably start searching right now, I ran into our bedroom and started to rummage through his desk that he kept in the far corner of the room. All I know about that desk, is that it caries a lot of paperwork of purchases from previous sofas and couches and tables and lamps and all of the stuff that are in furniture stores. He had a light next to the window, a large one that covered his entire desk.





I dropped my bag to the back of the room, opened each and every drawer, taking out all the papers and all of the things he could hide in here.



Papers after papers. Books after books. Nothing but prices of furnished wood.


I sat down on his rolling chair in his desk. And just to be a bit playful and funny, I tried to make everything look like a movie scene. After seeing Yassef’s glasses on the edge of the table. I rose and eyebrow and longed for it.




Next thing you knew, the glasses were hanging from the tip of my nose.




“Bills, paper works, jobs blah blah—” I pushed aside all the papers that weren’t any interesting at all. Just the normal things he does for a living is all the showed. I began to shuffle through the bottom drawer, taking out the large orange envelope  that appeared.





I frowned, “What do we have here?” I said extremely dramatically.



I  ripped the envelope with my hands, taking off the extra set of papers that would come out. And when I pulled whatever was inside the envelope out, it was just a bunch of pictures that were now in my hands. The photos didn’t look familiar at all. They were photos of Yassef, you could tell. The dark brown rough hair and the bright skin. The smile eith bright straight white teeth, his amazing smile and the cute dimple that appeared on his right cheek. One thing I noticed is that this isn’t an ordinary photo. It was a photo taken in 2013, when he graduated high school. His graduation uniform was still word, as well as the dark blue hat on his head. He was holding up a certificate beside his mother, a woman I easily recognized due to the constant visits shed pay at our house.



I’ve never personally seen Yassef this happy before. He was so happy that the little wrinkles in the corner of his eyes appeared. The little wrinkles of his smile too. He looked absolutely perfect, flawless. The picture brought a smile to my face, as I removed the glasses and watched him. I flipped over the photo only to see a large paragraph written behind it.




My dear son,


Make this photo a lesson To You that you will never achieve success without trying. And never say your trying hard when the truth is, your not trying hard enough. I write this letter to you from the bottom of my heart.

Much love, Mom.






It was cute.





It was probably a letter she wrote to him before he started college. And when she saw his atmost capabilty in school, she knew he could do anything. He proved it by graduating high school, and by graduating college. Not to mention, he’s got his own business running at twenty two years old. He took his mother’s words very seriously.



When I took a look at the other pictures that were in the envelope, I couldn’t have felt any more envious.




This photo was an amazing photo of Yassef and this other girl on graduation day. The girl was wearing the same gown as him, and the same hat. She had a nice beautiful smile and I couldn’t lie, She was pretty. Her hair, a dark brown colour and her eyes a bright green. He had an arm wrapped around her waist and both of his eyes watching her while biting his lip. The girl on the other hand didn’t pay any attention to him as she kept her eyes on the camera as if to smile like ‘cheese’.





I didn’t smile this time. I think it as obvious that I as JEALOUS.




From the looks of it, Yassef dated this girl. Maybe she was one of the girls he said he mistakenly dated. And who knows? He looks so into her that maybe he still has the shots for her. Maybe he still has feelings and love towards her that he doesn’t have any space for me. And you know what? That’s totally fair. But what he did in the past is none of my business. I want his attention. I want him to like me the way I like him and that’s not gonna happen unless this girl is out of his life for good.


I flipped the photo only to see writing behind it as well.





Happy birthday love,



You used to be the light to my dark days. You used to cuddle with me whenever I felt down. Sometimes I wake up to your beautiful face, caressing your soft cheeks and smelling your amazing scent that draws me to you even more. Words seriously can’t describe how much you mean to me. Your birthday, was the day we met. The day you found me in class, alone getting bullied. The day you spoke to me and gave me advice. The day people started to like me more and talk to me. Your birthday is not only a special day for you, but it’s a special day for me. You changed my life Yassef. And I love every single inch of you for that. Happy 19th babe.

Love, Karen. Q



...





I don’t like you Karen. Q







_______________________


Say mashallah (2x)

Love you xxx


-Emaan





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