You Are My Everything- Simbar

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by reina-gitana

by reina-gitana

The first moment I looked into his eyes, everything felt like pure bliss. His gentle skin, his tiny fingers, and toes, his dark brown eyes identical to his fathers. He was everything I had hoped for and more. He was perfect. And I couldn't ask for anything more.

I first found out I was pregnant only a few months after I graduated from University. I was still on the hunt for jobs and Simon was on his second world tour, in Europe at the time. I had been late for a week and a half and thought it was time to take a test. Even with four different kinds, I was still so hesitant as to whether it was true or not. And Simon hadn't been around. When it was confirmed at my doctor's, I felt everything inside of my drop to the pit of my stomach. I was a mix of emotions. Excited, shocked, joy. But mostly I was scared. I know most people who find out that they're pregnant for the first time say they are scared too-for many different reasons- but I was terrified.

Simon and I weren't even engaged yet. We had only been living together for two years. And he was a busy artist. It all seemed like too much. I cried and cried for days straight not knowing what to do with this information. I didn't feel prepared to tell Simon or Luna, not prepared to accept the reality, and mostly, I didn't feel prepared to become a mother.

Of course, the idea of having children sometime in my life had seemed amazing growing up, but the fact that it was real and happening totally gave me a different opinion on it. I didn't know what to do or think. After three weeks, I decided that it had to be taken care of. I ended up telling Luna first and asking her opinion. She told me to first call Simon with the news, and then schedule doctor's appointments.

She helped me plan the whole reveal to him. She would accompany me on a surprise visit to his last show of the tour in Lisbon. And there I would surprise him just an hour before the show started at the venue. When we were alone in his dressing room, I told him and he had the biggest smile on his face. It was the most comforting and reassuring reaction. I was so glad I had someone so supporting and excited for this new addition. He went on stage that night with 10x more energy and 10x more emotion. It was the greatest. It was then I knew that with him right next to me, we would be conquering parenthood together, never alone.

Our first son, Adrian Christian Alvarez was born May 17th, and he was our everything. I never saw myself having a son in my life, but when he was placed into my arms for the very first time, I fell in love.

The very first nights, although we had been warned constantly about, had been exhausting. Our angel had a sleep, cry, eat, poop, repeat schedule. I think I only slept about half an hour on most nights. But I am immensely grateful for Simon, who cleared his entire schedule indefinitely, to be there for every second, helping out with late nights and all. Without him, I would truly be a mess.

As Adrian grew in the first year of his life, everything became even more real than before. His features became clearer for one. He mostly looked like his father. The eyes, the hair, his face, everything. The most handsome son. But his personality was all me. Very quick-witted and quite the sass master. A perfect combination of both of us.

His hobbies, however, took him on his own path. He's very sporty, playing soccer and baseball are his passions. It melts my heart when I saw Simon teaching him how to play in the back yard. His tiny little body running around as fast as he can while adorable giggling. And Simon teaching him the proper footwork and how to swing a bat. I honestly have no clue how many pictures I have taken of it. it must be hundreds, but it's a memory I never want to lose in this lifetime.

The second time I found out I was pregnant, Adrian was five years old and in school already, and Simon was recording his fourth album. I revealed it to him on our wedding anniversary as his present and he was filled with pure joy. Adrian was bouncing up and down and running around the house, excited to finally have a sibling. He was even more excited when he found out at the gender reveal party that he was going to have a brother. Although the both of us had really hoped for a girl, we were still overjoyed to have another blessing in our life.

Our second son, Dylan Ivan was born on October 20th, and the three of us adored him with all of our hearts. He looked exactly like me, this little boy. Bright blue eyes, blond hair, porcelain skin, my little angel. It was easier this time around when we took him home. Being a mom the second time around, I've got everything down to a T (I like to think so anyway).

Adrian was a very big helper. He adored his little brother so much. Whenever he asked to hold him, I would take millions of photos each time like the mom I am. Always such a pure sight to see my two angels together.

Dylan took interest in music. Simon was so excited to be teaching him different instruments and taking him to the studio. He even let him sing in the booth one time, and not to be biased, he sounds really good, even for such a little kid. Although he and Adrian would play around sometimes, he poured his heart and soul into music. He's so talented and we could not be more proud of him.

Adrian and Dylan often played with our friend's children since we saw them so much. They all grow up together, just like we did. Adrian even developed a crush on Luna and Matteo's daughter when they were little. We know because we saw them sneak into a corner one time while they were playing hide and go seek and Adrian quickly kissed her and ran away. Luna and Matteo grew a little bit concerned and stern about it, but he was little, as kids. They didn't know what they were doing. I think it's still a funny memory to look back on.

My family is my everything. I love both of my sons and husband more than you could imagine. They make every day an adventure. Although it gets crazy sometimes, I can't picture life without them in my life. We may not be perfect, but they're the best family I could ever dream of.

We had never talked about having a third child, even reaching for a girl that we wanted so badly. But it was happening. I was about to have a third child. This pregnancy it all seemed like a blur, feeling like everything was sped up. Adrian was 12 and Dylan 7. It seemed almost impossible but I was still happy as ever.

The day of the gender reveal party I was so anxious. No matter if it was a boy or girl, we would still be happy. But we really, really, REALLY wanted a girl more than anything. It drove me crazy all day knowing Luna and Matteo were the only ones to know what the sex was. It was so tempting to just snatch the envelope I had given the right back and read it myself, but I resisted the urge and forced myself to wait.

When it was time, Luna and Matteo pushed the four of us to the center of the room to reveal together. They brought out a big white bag that had something inside that would pop out either blue or pink. Before giving Dylan and Adrian permission to open it, Simon squeezed my hand really tight for reassurance calming down a bit. I took a deep breath and relaxed. I signaled for the boys to open it and kept a tight grip on Simon's hand.

When they pulled out pink teddy bear, I screamed and jumped up and down like crazy. I gave all my boys a giant group hug and burst into tears. I was over the moon that my family was complete. So content with life. I can never say enough how grateful I am. How truly blessed.

On April 2nd, our littlest miracle, Vanessa Kathleen was born. I held her in my arms, with all three of my boys around me, staring down at her in pure awe. Tears began to well in my eyes at the sight of her. She was a mixture of the both of us. Her father's eyes, my blonde hair. She was beautiful.

Everything made me so emotional. To think of how my life was just twenty years ago seemed like I was stuck forever in an unhealthy being. Simon has been there with me through it all. Every little step of the way. I am so in love with him. Every single role he rocks at. A musician, a coach, a husband, a father. He's perfect for me. And the family we grew together, became my entire world.

From nothing to everything, I whispered gently into my daughter's ears in her first moments, the same as I did with my two older children. "You are my everything."