THE AFTERMATH

ch. 29

(beginning of the chapter a/n)

another jump in time, one week after olivia and tommy's argument.

~~~

It has been one week since I've had a proper conversation with Olivia. That conversation was the argument that we had in the kitchen.

I tried to help myself during the first two days. I took walks around town to clear my mind, go over to the houses of Alex and Gibson, I would try to calm myself down and breathe slowly (that didn't work), I would even sing songs to myself to lift up my spirits. Work also wasn't much of a stress reliever. Those methods kind of helped but it wasn't enough.

Every day that passed by, it got worse for me. I would have more nightmares and hallucinations that I would usually get. Most of them happened at night, when I was about to go to sleep. Olivia wasn't sleeping in my room anymore, she sleeps out in the hall. I didn't have anyone dry my tears or muffle my screams.

Olivia did come into my room at times after my hallucinations, but it would just be to give me tissues. She would also give me a hug for a second then walk away.

She was hurting as well. I heard her cries at night, seeping into my room. I would try to squeeze my eyes shut and sleep but it would never work. Sometimes, I would listen to her cries until they diminished. When I would hear that she wasn't crying anymore, I would go to her and hold her for a few minutes. She'd be angry if she knew I did that, but thankfully she doesn't notice.

I was going to work today. Hopefully, it can take my mind off of what's happening. I know it won't.

I stepped out of the house and walked out of my property. I turned around to see Olivia at the window, staring at me. I turned away and sighed.

I began to walk to work. It took me faster than usual to get there, oddly. I watched as the rain from the sky dropped on my sweater. I hugged my sweater closer to me and walked even faster. I was not trying to get soaked today.

I jogged over to the shoe shop, which was very near. I opened the door and stepped inside. My jaw dropped as I took in what was around me. The store looked so empty, only consisting of a few boxes. There were no rows of shoes left. I walked to the storage room and saw the same thing. I went to the counter and saw a note attached to it. I picked it up and read it.

Tommy,

I decided to close down the store. Business for us was getting lower and lower with each day. Nobody seemed to like coming to our shop anymore.

Also, I wanted to move out of England. There's just so much memories here that I wanted to either revisit or ones that I wanted to regret remembering.

I wish you luck, Tommy. Don't ever put yourself down. Remember, the weakest people have the strongest mindset.

John

I stared at the letter in shock. I wasn't expecting this at all. I guess it was finally time to leave this store.

I walked to the other end of the counter. When I got there, I saw some money. It was probably my last salary. I grabbed it and stuffed it in my pockets.

I went to the front door and sighed. I turned around and took one last look at the store. I then stepped out and walked away.

Even if that place didn't hold the best memories of my life, it was still the place that grew on me. I don't know how I'll find another job.

I saw a bench at the end of the street. I went to go sit down on it. I grumbled and looked at the sky.

Why did all of these events have to happen to me? Why was I one of the most unfortunate people on this planet?

"Why me?" I wondered out loud.

Was I destined to live a life of hell? Was I destined to be known as a coward instead of a heroine?

I trembled as I looked at people passing by. They looked so happy, smiles on their faces. I wish I was like that. I froze when I saw somebody that I recognized. It was one of the generals in Dunkirk. He was even wearing the same boots from that war.

He didn't seem to notice me, he just walked past me. I felt myself shake slowly. I looked down at the floor and closed my eyes.

"This is just going to get worse, way worse than what you just experienced." The general said.

We all looked at each other with grief. Nobody was prepared for this at all.

"Look at the dead soldiers laying on the beach. You guys don't want to that to be you." The general pointed to the dead bodies.

I shuddered and looked at them. Their limbs weren't attached to them at all. Their blood stained the sand on the beach.

I still felt my ears ringing from the last explosion. It happened minutes ago, coming out of nowhere. It was a miracle that I even survived that.

"It doesn't even matter at this point if we win this battle or not. The only thing that matters is if we can survive." I looked away from the dead soldiers and grimaced.

"We're going to be known as cowards!" Alex yelled out.

"Yes, we are going to be known as cowards. But at least we will make it out." The general shook his head at Alex.

I knew that we were going to be the laughingstock in England. No matter how many times people cheer when they see us, they're still going to think that we didn't fight properly. They're still going to think of us as disappointments.

We're going to be disappointments. Our title as a soldier won't sugarcoat the fact that we're pathetic. We're going to be weak and more fragile than ever after this. And the sad thing was that we will never regain our old selves back.

I opened my eyes and looked back up. My whole body was shaking even more. I tried to breathe in and out slowly. My breathing just seemed to get quicker. I had to get out of here.

With shaking legs, I ran out. Tears spilled all over my face, along with raindrops.

At least I could disguise my tears for now. I know that I can't after this.