THE AFTERMATH

ch. 10

It felt like I've been running for hours, when I knew I was only running for a few minutes. The people I ran past were looking at me, giving me looks of utter confusion.

I tried wiping my tears as I ran, but they just kept flowing. My tears made my vision a bit blurry, but I could still see what's in front of me. These tears spilling out just made me feel more fragile and so fucking worthless.

These 2 years of trying to heal has gone to waste. Why can't I just move on and forget about the war? Why can't I just be like Peter and move on easily? Why can't I just be normal?

I hate that I was thinking like this. I hate that I'm so pathetic. I hate that I was slowly crumbling into a pile of pity. Most of all, I hate that I am fucking useless and that I destruct the people around me.

I knew that I couldn't regain my old self again. I couldn't be that happy boy that I used to be, always smiling and laughing. That paradise that I used to live in has been completely shattered. Nothing was left of my old self except bits of broken glass, the glass representing my memories.

The street in front of me was completely empty. It was quiet, the kind of quiet that you wish was filled with noise. I slowed down and went over to a bench. I sat down and buried my face into my hands.

"Tommy!" A voice called.

I looked up to see Olivia running towards me. Her hair was flying all over her and her jacket was over her shoulder. She stopped in front of me and held onto the bench, trying to catch her breath.

"Oh my gosh, are you crying?" Olivia asked, brushing a thumb over my tear-stained cheeks.

I nodded and felt her thumb caress my cheeks even more. Fuck, why does Olivia have to see me like this? Why does she have to see me at my lowest point?

"Do you want to talk about it?" Olivia mumbled, sitting down next to me.

Should I really be opening up to her? Should I tell her the reason why I'm broken and melancholic? I sighed and turned towards her. Well, here it goes.

"Yeah, I do want to talk about it." I confessed, looking into Olivia's eyes.

"Alright, tell me everything." Olivia said, holding my gaze.

"It all started when I was 20. I barely found out that I was enlisted to fight in the Battle of Dunkirk and that I would be going to Dunkirk soon. Me and some fellow soldiers were given some training, but it was very little. Almost immediately after training, we were transported to Dunkirk, France." I started.

"We had to hide in the towns there so we wouldn't get killed by German soldiers. I remember that I almost got shot when I was running towards the beach. Some of the fellow soldiers running with me got killed. When I made my way to the beach, there were thousands of soldiers. They were all lined up in rows. Next thing I knew, German Luftwaffe planes soared above us, dropping bombs. We all scrambled and covered our heads. Bombs went off everywhere, sending soldiers flying, along with their body parts." I continued, shivering in fear.

"We made numerous attempts to escape Dunkirk. Almost all of the boats that came were torpedoed and blasted to pieces. I didn't even know how I made it out of the boats, I was barely surviving." I whispered, feeling a tear drop onto my cheek.

Olivia had tears in her eyes. She was already an emotional wreck.

We were back to the beach at Dunkirk. Bombs were still being dropped frequently. One of them got so close to me that I was lifted off of the sand. After that bomb, I was shaking and trying to disregard the dead bodies around me. Then, me and some other soldiers went into a boat on the sand, hoping the tide would catch it and bring us into the water. It was shot several times, the boat was used for targeting practice. Water was flowing into the boat, coming into the holes that shots made. My friend Alex and I barely made it out. My other friend Gibson almost drowned, but we got him out in time." I said, feeling my hands start to tremble.