Welcome to Hell, How May I Help You? {Watty Awards 2012}

Better days

A/N: Sorry, I know I have annoyed many people with the lack of a name for the main character, this chapter fixes that! I actually cried writing this chapter...

Days passed by so slowly. I learned to deal with my mind blurring days into one, and confusing my mind beyond belief. It was where the beauty in my heart was born. When your days blur, everything looks different. Everything looks stronger or weaker. The weak things fade, while the strong ones are remembered. It made the madness bearable. It made it hilarious.

I had never learned what was known so often as "Motherly love" for a number of reasons. My mother never took care of me like she was supposed to. My friends began to worry when my breakdowns came back. Some left me. I had a few left and that was it. I stayed strong and let my life show who I was and will always be. I was only fifteen, but I was said to be more mature. I know the longer I write the heavier the weight is. The harder it will be to control alone. I could crush me if I'm not careful. If I continue to write I could lose it. I could lose all sense of security in my head. My mind would no longer be a safe. It would be a glass box, made so everyone could see inside. And that's exactly what I wanted.

I wrote a poem especially to express my odd interests.

You all think you know me.

You all say you care.

Then how are my closest friends that know everything about me on the Internet?

It's easier to tell the truth when they won't see your tears.

Where they can't criticize you.

Do you even see the tears?

Do you even care?

What's the point of staying here? Only one person,

Only one person understands.

He knows the truth.

He accepts me for it too.

All I have are three

With me four,

And us four,

Need a break from you.

The liars,

Haters,

Queen bees,

and ESPECIALLY

The attention-seekers that act like one of us.

 

Sadly, no one reads the things I write in my notebook. The things that hurt me with a pain of liberation. The pain that proves you're still alive and real. I was real, odd, and lovable. I was Myra. My best friend was Elva. She was a huge reason I was still sane. I loved her. More than anyone in the world. If not for her and my other close friends, I would not even be letting my tears fall. I would hide it all until I could no more. Please, leave us alone world. We've all been through enough as is. Rei was getting abused at home, Elva had an overbearing mother, Lila had nothing to lose, she had no home or family anymore. We all had the toughest fights to go through. We wern't the strongest soldiers, so why give us the toughest fights? Why let us lose everything now? So we hit bottom early? "God" had a twisted sense of humour. If "God" even existed.