❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter twenty three — TO REVEAL EMOTIONS
—
THERE WAS THE overwhelming feeling that she fucked up. That she shouldn't have needed any more time and she should've just been okay with everything that happened, especially with Remus right there looking like a kicked puppy and her left speechless. Remelda didn't get that feeling a lot, didn't get the feeling of sympathy or need to comfort in the immediate moment with a lot of people. Her brothers being the only ones.
Yet, there she was. Night time, standing in the middle of the corridor as Remus looked at her with such sadness and she didn't know what to say, but she knew she wanted to say something. Anything. Anything to make him smile again, anything that would wipe the frown off his face. Anything to take back her words from before. Her doubt, her apprehension...fuck.
Remelda fucked up. She knew that. In that moment, with him there, and her feeling some sort of way, she knew she fucked up. She did. And, gulping, her throat still felt dry as he tried not to meet her eyes and scurry past her, only from her grab his arm and tug him forward again.
That was minutes ago. Felt like an eternity.
He didn't say anything to her and she didn't say anything to him, didn't know what to say. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she didn't even know why she stopped him, he hadn't said a word.
Remelda Black, the girl who once held her head high and didn't let anything faze her, was now speechless at the sight of him. It wasn't as if she hadn't planned for the moment she saw him again, seeing as Remus had noticeably been avoiding her, but those thoughts, what she wanted to say, seemed to disappear as she looked at him. Same scar still adorning his nose, same brown jumper that seemed to be his favorite, and same stature – left leg jutting out a bit with his right hand rubbing his left arm. But there was also something different about him. His left sleeve was pulled up the slightest bit, showing a new pink scar, his hair was a complete and utter mess and the look in his eyes as he looked at her was different; it was scared. She had only seen that slight fear from him once before, and it was nothing compared to this.
This was a man afraid of her, afraid of what she would say. And something broke inside her. His mouth was closed and she was trying to form coherent words, ones she wanted him to hear. Wanted to say I'm sorry or please listen even I know I made a mistake but that didn't come out.
"You've been avoiding me," she dumbly pointed out, the only four words that slipped past her lips.
He was quiet for a moment before his deep, slow voice sounded in her ears, "Thought it would be better." And that hurt her. Before, if she said anything close to that, he would've quirked his lips up and teasingly said something, maybe like missed me?
