❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter twenty — FIXING THE PAST
—
IT WAS AWKWARD, sitting there before him. Just the two of them, the siblings, there and sitting as she brought her knees up to her chin and rest her head on them. There was silence and it was just so bloody awkward because it hadn't been like this in such a long time. The last time it was just the two of them was before Christmas – before he thought that Regulus died. They had been together, yes, but never alone. Always with a group of people, always with his friends.
And it was so awkward. He was sitting there with his hair, getting longer by the month, in his face as he looked at the fire and she was there not knowing what to say. What was there to say? She wanted to heal but she didn't know how. Where could they start?
Remelda never knew silence could be so deadly with Sirius. It had always been comforting. In his room without light as they heard the shuffling and arguing of their parents. Regulus would be there too, holding Remelda tightly as she did the same with her older brother. Sometimes a soft record would be playing – he always did love music there. It helped in summer, when every day seemed to last a year and every minute an hour. A month became a decade and the summer a century. But the quiet helped, it was nice, just knowing that they were there and in that moment they were safe.
It wasn't like that now. It was suffocating and she didn't know how to stop it, didn't know what to say to fix anything. It was late, so late, the late it was when he would walk up the stairs and go into his room to see the doe-eyed Remelda sitting on his bed, waiting for him. Waiting for him with a cloth as she cleaned the wound and ask for a story, ask for the stories he made with his friends. It was nice. And she would go to bed that night and dream of having friends like his, friends that cared and that were there and loved her and cared for her and would do anything for her. Remelda never had those friends. It was always about self-preservation with the group she crowded around before.
"So..." Sirius let out, and Remelda couldn't help but laugh at how awkward everything was. It was terrible. "This is so weird. I don't know what to say."
Remelda cracked a smile, looking at him, "Neither do I. Merlin, it's just...wow."
He laughed as well, "I remember when we used to sit together and not say a word. It was nice, but this...I can't stand it."
She nodded as well, remembering those times, "You would bring me those muggle novels. Got them from Remus, right?" he nodded, "Always loved them. We would just sit together, yeah, and then you would get bored or reading and would tell me stories instead. Always loved those stories."
"Of me and the others?" he asked and she nodded her head, "Didn't know that. Thought they annoyed you, being honest. Me just rambling on and on about James chasing Lily and her practically spitting in her face..."
