❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter twelve — BONDS WITH BROTHERS
—
THE LIBRARY WAS quiet. It was always quiet, it was a library for crying out loud, but there was always chatter. There was always some form a chatter or small noise in the library even if it wasn't technically allowed. But the library was silent and Remelda was alone. She guessed that she brought it upon herself, she was the reason that Remus had blown up on her. He was already angry that day and she was adding to the problem, she deserved his anger, but it wasn't her fault that she wasn't aware of what Sirius and the Potters had done.
But this point, she decided that it was better to believe Remus' words because it didn't plausible for him to lie at that time, especially with the state he was in. It just wouldn't happen, and Remelda already wanted to believe that it was true – that Sirius truly did fight for her and Regulus. She wanted to believe it, even if it would destroy her later, even if it were a lie, because of her younger self. Because young Remelda believed in Sirius and his promise, and she still wanted it to be true.
Young Remelda was always comforted by Sirius, was always comforted by his stories and his friends. There was a time when she heard and saw the pranks of him and his friends and her to bite her lip to keep from smiling. There was a time when she enjoyed learning what the next prank would be and would wait at the edge of her seat to see what happened, what the person's reaction would be. And in that time she loved him deeply, didn't care that he was a bloodtraitor in the eyes of her parents because he was her older brother who would do anything for her. In that time, she was scared because they were hurting him and would patch up his wounds at the end of the night and listen as he told stories about his friends and she would smile.
There was a time when she dreamed of meeting his friends and being welcomed in to their group as if she were family. Because she had heard great things about them and she wished that she had friends like them. She wished that Alfie would do anything for her, be her friend, but he proved just earlier this month how unworthy of that title he was. He wasn't her friend; he almost killed her because she didn't want to run away with him. The fucker.
And now she was alone in the library because Remus didn't come and talk to her anymore. It bothered her at first, of course it did, and she was scared that someone would see them. She was scared that someone would see and write to her parents and they would hit her again when she came him. She was always scared of the pain they conflicted, how they could hurt their own children so easily. But they never got to Regulus. He had never been hit in his life, but he had seen his other siblings be hurt. Remelda always protected him and took his punishment, Sirius before her.
Because as their role of older siblings, they protected the younger ones. He protected them when he lived there, he took the pain and the hits and he was the one left bleeding at the end of the day. And then he left and Remelda took his place. Now she was the one with scars, protecting Regulus. It was only last year that they had gotten so mad that Remelda made the younger boy leave out of fear that he would be hit too. She never knew where he meant, but she knew that he was protected, and that was enough. Though, she had always suspected that he ended up at Nadia Greene's house.
