❝The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.
I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time
the monster has been me.❞
[MARAUDERS ERA]
[METANOIA SERIES B2]
[COVER: -VOIDLEGENDS]
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— chapter five — A BAD NIGHT
—
"I HATE YOU."
Those were the first three words to fall out of her lips when Remus Lupin sat down next to her again. Thankfully, they were far enough in the library that no one could see that and gossip about how she, Remelda Walburga Black, was sitting with a fucking Gryffindor boy. She knew that if her house got a whiff of this they would cast her out and send a letter to their parents explaining everything, only for her own mother to find out that he sat down next to her even though she didn't like him one bit.
Remus chuckled though, like this was a joke to him. No, it wasn't a joke to her. With a back painted in scars from her own mother and the memories of feeling unimaginable pain forced upon her because of her own mistakes and the ones of her brothers, it wasn't a joke to her. In fact, it was the opposite. Merlin knows what her mother would do if she found out.
"Then why aren't you storming out of the library?" he chuckled, "I'd imagine that you couldn't stand to sit next to me if you hate me as much as you say."
She glared at him, the same infamous Black glare that sent shivers down spines and plagued fear into the minds of those who saw it. She could see Remus falter a little at it, and she smirked. "Aren't you the one who sat down next to me? Even though the library is quite large and there are plenty of other seats. I guess I could find another..."
"But you know that I'll just follow you to the next one," he smiled cheekily. Remelda rolled her eyes in retaliation.
"Yes, because you want to prove to me that Sirius is a great person and should be given my forgiveness," Remelda fired, "Well, Lupin, it's not going to happen."
"Come on," he looked at her, "He has, and he justs wants to make amends with his siblings now. Can't you give him a chance?"
"No," the word came from her mouth quickly after he asked her. She had no intention on forgiving Sirius for what he had done to her, the pain he conflicted on her.
She remembered that once he told her, promised her, that he would always be there to protect her. He looked her sternly in the eyes and said that they (the parents) would never lay a finger on her, she would never spend a night tending to her own wounds like she had once done with Sirius.
What a liar.
And she had the audacity to believe him. With large doe eyes filled with innocence, she was naive enough to believe his words. Not now. Not again. Remelda had learned from her mistakes, and she wouldn't make them again.
Remus sighed and look down, "Come on, please. You know that he wanted to ta-"
"No, don't make an excuse for him. I won't hear it," Remelda cut him off, "Sirius had every chance to talk to Regulus and I. I understood during summer, not sending any letters - I understand that. But nothing else. Our parents aren't here - not at Hogwarts. He could've spoken to us, but he didn't. He didn't even look at me when I tried to speak to him, he just passed me by."
