Milk and Bubbles

Let's get depressed

So I guess it's been a while.

Sorry that I haven't updated too much.

But I'm here with some rants that I need to get out.

It's raining and I'm listening to Eden, so why not now.

1. School

School's been not as bad as I thought it would be so far, but of course there are those little twits and things that have to ruin everything.

I came face to face with the guy I was scared of for so long. A little quick history lesson about me and this kid. So, two years ago I knew that he existed and that he was a pretty not okay guy. I'm pretty sure that he knew me, but we didn't really talk to each other, and I didn't want to take to him. Here and there he would start a small conversation with me, and I say small, like a couple seconds. 

Last school year, it was kind of at the end of the year I believe. I broke down crying in the locker room because of how poorly I had done in a game of mat ball (kind of like kickball). He pointed me out, made fun of how I did. I had to be escorted to a counselor because of how bad I felt of myself. I told her all about how I was feeling and I told her about him. 

Some time later, he saw me at my public library's anime club wth me and my friends. A few minutes later, he cornered me with his friends and started making fun of my race and my interests. I asked my friends who also walked past him. 

He didn't say anything rude to them. 

After that, here and there he would kick my leg while I was at my locker. He would kick my water bottle when it was on the ground. And yesterday while yelling something to a friend he started to try and talk to me. I didn't reply and I turned around. He started insulting me on my appearance. I have never felt so badly about myself.

Now onto another kid, friends with the other guy but not as bad. Still very stinkee though.

This kid has been in one of my classes in the last school year, and my gym class now.

He's extremely loud, boisterous and generally annoying. He called one of friends African American even though he was Puerto Rican. He doesn't really bother me that much. but still he's and annoying little twat and deserves to be deleted.

So yesterday, while walking out of my last period to head to my locker, he squirts water on me and pretends that he's sneezing. I swear i was about to punch or kick him, and at that point I didn't care about the consequences. I was also about to tell him that I hoped he would shove a chainsaw up his ass.

Not to mention that three days ago I had to go home because of how my eyes was feeling. It had been feeling pretty dry a few days before, but I chose not to tell my parents because of how they would react, by blaming everything on me. My friend tells me that my eye looks pretty red, so in the last period I ask to go to the nurse.

I get there and she sends me home because it looked infected. She tells me to immediately go to my doctor.

My doctor tells me it's because of allergies. He sends us to get eye drops, not it's better. It's not dry or red as it was a couple of days ago.

I told my parents, my dad took it pretty well. And then there's my mother who blamed it on me. Saying that this was the cause of me being on my phone. I could be in a car crash in the future and it could clearly be the other driver's fault and she could come in my hospital room and say I was to blame.

2. Race and sexuality

I've been feeling more scared than usual because of the Charlottesville rallies.