Something Real | MakoHaru

your love isn't real

   He shouldn't have played with Haru's feelings.

   He powerlessly slid down as he leaned on the door.

   The tears in his eyes trickled as he stared helplessly in silence, blurring his vision. The way he breathe is slow, almost feeling the dryness on the bottom of his throat.

   Haru thought on how he looked so pathetic facing Rin. He felt like a fool. He always thought that he has a good judgement on people, but when he falls in love, that line is blurred.

   And in the end, he is hurt.

   And now he vowed to himself. He should forget about him and start over again. Not in a sense he will change, but to change in a way he'll never hurt himself again.

   What? By one night stands?

   If only if... Haru sighed. If he regretted falling in love with that red-haired boy, he regretted losing the orca who stucked himself beside him the most.

   Unaware, a bunch of text messages appeared on his phone screen.

   'Hey there...'

   Makoto smiled at the woman who chirped at him. She wore a short skirt, and he could tell that this woman is into him, judging on how she'd steer her body towards him. A huge grin is plastered on her face, making him smile back just to return the favor.

   The club isn't noisy as it was before. The music os mellow, and people are dancing in waltz, but not losing couples making out in the corner. Before he could realise, the woman gazed at him eagerly, excited to devour him.

   She ordered a drink, and when he offered paying it, she refused. Makoto encountered this kind of situation, but he feels uneasy. Was it because he's also eager to meet him again?

   Of course, it is. He's eager. But at the same time he's desperate. He's eagerly desperate to tell Haru who he is and to confess his feelings although he knows nothing will come out of it. He knew he'll be hurt all over again by the silent torture Haru gave him, but he's fine with that.

   As long it guarantees he'd lose his feelings for him. So that Haru won't be hurt by his own obsession.

  The woman beside him is chatty and he felt like he lost motivation in entertaining her. He kept looking at the time on his wristwatch, while tapping the cold glass at the same time. He just wanted to end everything and start over.. but where is he?

   He seamed his lips, dry and chapped from the high humidity inside. He scanned the whole place while diverting his look from the woman, who showed no signs of stopping. He then glanced back at her as she suddenly said, 'What's wrong, Mako-san?'

  'Ah, nothing, but...' He went down and saw the skirt getting skimpier on her smooth, milky-white legs before whispering in her ear. 'Yo, nice skirt.'

   Despite the darkness, he noticed her blushing. 'Really, thank you...'

   'Anyway, how did you know my name is Mako?'

   The girl stared at him long before replying; 'Everyone knows your name, Mako-san. Don't you even realise that? You're the mysterious bad boy in Iwatobi.'

   He stared at her with his mouth agape in disbelief. 'Really? I never knew about that.'

   He paced, looking back at his watch then to her. It's getting late, and there's no Haruka showing up. He sighed. 'Is there anything wrong, Mako-san?'

   'Nothing. Why?'

   'You've been looking at your watch anxiously for a while. Perhaps you were waiting for someone, eh?'

   He shook his head. 'No. I'm just like that.'

   The night ended for the both of them at bed. Everytime their lips touched, Makoto remembers how soft Haru's were as they brushed against him; everytime he'll touch her skin, he feels suppleness of Haru's; everytime he sees her moaning, he sees Haru looking at him helplessly, with moans that are music to his ears.

   Even if he'll fuck the whole population every night, it will never provide the same satsifaction he recieved from holding Haruka. He promised himself not to hurt or defile Haru because for him, Nanase Haruka is a god-like person whom he'll shower all his devotion on him; and will do anything for his sake. He will even sacrifice his own happiness.

   He sacrificed his own feelihgs when he let Haru and Rin have a healthy relationship whilst he sat there in misery.

   The smoke coming out from his nostrils were thick as he stood on the balcony of the hotel. It's not any other night; it's a lonely one. He never felt like he got comforted holding someone who isn't Haru, and by that he realised he still has a long way to cross if he's willing to remove all the memories with Haru in his life.

   His eyes trailed to the sky and saw the peaceful view of the clouds in a soft shade of black. The moon illuminated the whole place, but it got conquered by the artificial lights on the buildings. The whole town is busy even if it was late at night, and he is confused how Iwatobi slowly became like the young Tokyo.

   He tapped his cigarette on the cold metal, making the ash fall off with ease and placed back in his mouth. He wondered how many times he had one night stands under the influence of alcohol, and also the times he'd smoke right after he finished fucking.

   Man or woman, Makoto was okay with that. At least he could hold someone, but it wasn't enough. It is never enough.

   The wind swept his hair and sent chills over his half-naked body. He stood there emotionless. But suddenly, an uncomfortable feeling has gone in him, causing him to hold on the bars to maintain his balance.

   He felt like he was about to choke, making him dizzy. A heavy feeling presses into his chest, struggling him to let it go. It might be a cough, but it's a painful one.

   His palm clenched as he tried to cover his mouth, but it suddenly got lost, making him breathe again. He sighed in relief as he went back.

   He started dressing himself while looking at the sleeping, naked woman on the bed. More or less, he broke the blood inside her.

    Little did he know, a trail of blood dripped from his mouth.