Irony, therapy and a little bit of Jeremy

chapter 10

"What?" I practically screamed at the nurse. Fixing me with a hard stare she hushed me. "His mother has died and nobody thought it was a good idea to tell the poor kid?" This time I took my volume down... barely. How could they do that? He has a right to know for gods sake!

"Willow you need to calm down and would you like to be the person to tell a terminally ill child his mother killed herself because of him?" Glancing over I saw noah trace the line of a fresh scar on Jeremys arm. Everytime his gliding finger went over a threshold he would literally stiffen.

"I'm not the one who works here! If your mum died wouldn't you want to say goodbye?" I argued my voice raising back to its original volume.

"Oh he said goodbye. Five days of it." She started to turn away but I followed her refusing to be fobbed of with a half ass reply.

"What do you mean?" Finally lowering my voice.

"Willow Noah was stuck in the flat with his mum's rotting corpse for five days before anybody found him." Her pager interrupted her speech and she fumbled to shut it up. Glaring back at me she continued "We have reason to believe that his mum sold herself for drugs and it was her Pimp, if you like, who found him curled up next to her. He had eaten nothing for five days and thats why he looks malnourished now. Our main priority is getting him back to health to prolong his life. If that's ok with you I would like him to be happy for the few months he has left" Looking pleased that she finally shut me up she turned on her heels and walked down the ward. Her nursing out fit clung to her and she seemed to wobble with every step.

My nurse came to escort me to my Spinal Chemotherapy. The white office was only big enough for a desk, draws, skin and a bed that seemed to clog up most of the space. Apparently you can't feel a thing when the needle goes In. But how can't you feel a metal razor sharp needle reach between the disks in you spine? Thinking of it gave me shivers so when I was stud in the room getting my marching orders from the doctor I felt dizzy. Thankfully the nurse was staying with me. "So I will need you to lie on the bed, facing the wall, with your knees as close to your chin as possible" Said the doctor. Her long fringe made me doubt whether she could see or not. Personally I think not. Standing locked to my spot fear trickled through me. It seeped into every part of me and she gestured patiently for me to get on the bed. "In your own time willow" Her soft smile made me want to trust her. Finally giving into her steady gaze I climbed onto the bed. The ache In my back made it difficult for me to drag my knees up. Barely two minutes after I got on the bed the doctor was lifting my top up. Something wet and cold was plastered onto my back and the ache started to be lifted. "Can you lift your knees higher? It will make it less painful" Slightly warming my neck I new she was close to me. Slowly I lifted my legs a few more inches. "Ok now it will feel like a sharp pinch ok? One... two..." After one my breathing quickened and I had to use all my will power not to run away. Concentrating on the bright white wall I blinked rapidly to hold back tears and she hadn't even Injected me yet. "Three" I felt.... Nothing! It was weird. Kinda like a shadow. Your mind knows it's there but you can't feel it. Releasing a labored breath I said "Is it in?"

"Yes Willow. Although you don't feel anything now you might feel some discomfort and bruising later" After what seemed like forever she removed the needle and I felt the pressure lift from my back that  I didn't no was there. "Ok your all done. Come back in one week"

Surprisingly when I got back on the ward there was someone waiting on my bed. As I got closer I realized who it was. Looking at Jermerys bed I realized it was empty. "What are you doing here?" I asked interrupting her conversation with Noah. His eyes lit up when he saw me and I felt a little surge of sorrow for him. Scrambling out of his bed he came to hug me around the waist. Turing around Elsa looked boldly at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked again In a sterner voice. Her eyes looked down at Noah and I patted him on the head saying "Why dont you go play with your friend down the ward"

"Listen, before you chuck me out and you have every right to, I want to show you something or someone" Getting up she started towards the exit.

"If it's mum or dad then I don't want to no." I said crossing my arms. I followed her. Stupidly I wanted it to be one of them and who else did I really have that would want to surprise me?

"It's not although I think you should reconsider letting them come to see you. Besides mum is being sent home tomorrow, so they will have more time" Her eyes softened and at that moment I realized how much she actually loved our parents. "It's just hard for them" Letting her voice trail of she held the door for me. "Them? how do you think it is for me?" lowering my voice I refused to get upset "I had to watch my sister be Injected, poisoned, probed and for what? To die anyway! Three out of every ten people die from this and they don't even care! They would rather stay at home with you"

"Willow it's hard for them and I'm not saying what they have done is right but... they did what they thought was best" Walking past the front desk my feet began to get cold dispite my thin slippers. Walking was hard and she probably thought she was walking slow but to me I felt like I was walking a marathon! Powering on Elsa had a destination In mind but to me it could all be for nothing. It wasn't. I would have walked to the other side of the earth for what was waiting for me out side! Joy was a fleeting emotion on my ward but right then, in that moment, I had enough to last me a life time. Bathing In the sun chester sat on the bench he was tied to. When he saw me I thought he was going to drag the bench with him he moved that quickly. Only he didn't have the chance. I was there. On the ground infront of him crying with joy! Whimpering I realized how much my baby actually missed me. To me he was only one piece of my life but I was his whole life! Reaching into my jumper pocket I pulled out my phone and instantly began snapping photos of him and and us together. Looking at Elsa I saw she was crying. Unrelenting chester continued to lick my face and I giggled under my breath "Why are you crying?" I asked between giggles.

"I'm so sorry. For everything. We are going to keep chester and I will look after him until you come home. I never new one sister. I'm determined to get to know you." I was so happy they would be keeping chester I felt tears run ticklish lines Down my face.

"Will you bring him to see me?" I asked failing to keep the excitement and hope out of my voice.

"Of course I'm going to be the best sister I can be"

"Then you Can get to know me" I said looking into her eyes that both me and my mother shared with her. We sat on the bench for about a hour talking about everything like mum, dad, grandad and nana, Noah and Elsas boyfriend. Sitting with both of his paws on my knee cheater smelt at the tube coming out of my chest. That was another thing we talked about. My Cancer. Leaving chester was hard and I made her promise that they would keep him. Saying goodbye was hard and as I walked away I could hear him crying. But I wasn't going to let that ruin my mood. Stepping onto the ward I saw Jermerys bed still empty. Feeling at a lose all I wanted to do was talk to Jermery. Janet the nurse said he was out with his parents for the day and he wouldn't be back till late at night. Noah climed into bed with me and I felt like  I had gained a brother... or a cling on. At that moment I decided that I would never look at him and feel sorrow because honestly he deserved to be looked at with love or happiness.