Irony, therapy and a little bit of Jeremy

chapter 7

Rubbing my eyes I felt a stabbings pain in my chest. Orange light trickled  through the net curtain and cast eerie shadows on the sterile  hospital  floor. I looked down accusingly at my chest. Unnaturally a small pipe  poked out from under my skin.   A angry red ring surrounded the tube. Dry and raspy I reached for my drink but the shooting pain stopped me dead. Quiet singing made the crying that lived on the ward seem purposeful. Then it stopped and crying went back to being crying again. Unwavering the voice was like silk and went it stopped you felt sad.

"Hello" The voice managed  to sound shy and manly at the same time. Looking around  I saw several  beds filled with children. Some cried, some slept, and some just lay there lifeless. So this was the infamous children's cancer ward.  "Hello" I replied shakily. Somehow  being here, with these children, made it seem more real. Like I was actually one of them. Turning my head I felt a pulling feeling In my chest and I stiffened. It was him! The boy with scarred hand's was in the bed next to me. His arms were bare and littered with scars but not as bad as his hands. It looked  like he put his arms in a box full of broken glass. Snaking fresh red scratchs laced around the backs of his arms. "Do you cut yourself " before I new I said it out loud his arms disappeared  under the covers of his bed. I couldn't believe it. Why did I ask him that. I silently screemed. Embarrassment set a blushing fire in my cheeks and I wanted to die. By the looks of it so did the boy. Doctor Yashman told me his name but now it escaped me.

"Wow, blunt. What did they inject you with? truth serum?" I new he was joking but I still felt bad for asking. His tipped up smile made his dimple show and I felt my heart melt a little bit for it

"Sorry. so was that you singing?" I asked shyly I didn't want to offend him again.

"I know I sound like a cat being Strangled! but what can I say! I got the music in me!" singing theast bit it reminded me of a song but once again I couldn't remember where I had heard it.

"hahaha no you don't and why are you here?" My laughter echoed down the ward and I was soon silenced by the shocked looks I got! Anybody would think I was dying! Depressing subject to start I no but what else did I have in common with him? He was handsome and attractive with the voice that could charm a snake and I was, well, me! Plain old willow-sage!

"Well considering it's a child cancer ward... take a wild guess" His eyes lit up with sarcasm and his mouth was tilted in a half smile. His remark stumped me and I thought the conversation was over. "Brain tumor. Doctor Yashman says it loves me and has come back for round too. Do you know him?" He obviously wanted to talk so I moved my body around so I could look at him properly. Thats when I noticed a similar  pipe to the one I had in my chest sticking out of his scalp. I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on it and I felt bad. He wasn't blatantly staring at my chest yet I couldn't return the favour. Clearing his throat I finally  tore my eyes away.

"Sorry" it looked like I would be apologising alot today. Settling down the blush reignited and I looked away. was there anywhere on this ward you could look without staring at a pipe or a bandaged wound? Literally everywhere my eyes settled they were on somebody.

Shrugging of my apology he said "Hey if I didn't have this poking  out of my head I would stare at your chest." Winking he carried on "And I'm not just on about the pipe." My shocked stare must of stumped him and he quickly said "Joking joking joking! Chill I was joking. I didn't mean to spook you" Now it was his turn to change the subject and he didn't do the best job of it " So Yashman do you, er, know  him?"

"yeah he is my doctor too. He is a good man. He looked after my sister a few years back."

Smoothing his dark mane of hair down he asked "How is she now?" The sarcasm had faded from his eyes and they looked soft and kind.

"She died" I whispered.

"Sorry" he said he traced the line of a ridged scar. "Well let's hope Yashman's success rate has risen since then."

I don't no why but it made me laugh. "Well if he has a 50/50 success rate that means one of us will die." my voice was still etched with laughter and he smiled back at me. Strangled strands of light fell on his face and his icey blue eyes almost blended with the surrounding white.

"I think it just turned into the hunger games!" Our laughter was a sharp contrast to the crying of the other children.

"What are you too laughing  at?" I looked up to see a unfamiliar couple standing inbertween our beds. They looked... normal. Every aspect of them screamed ordinary. Apart from the mish mash of children at their feet. There were at least nine of them and they all seemed different race. Some were Chinese, some looked African  American one baby looked swidish or something with bleach blond hair and eyes as blue as the boy in the next bed there were twins that looked Latino. And I was confused. Doctor Yashman did tell me the boys name but I couldn't grasp it. He told the people  I assumed were his parents what we had being laughing at and his mum paled.

"Sounds fun" was all she said and I rolled back over to let them have there reunion. Sometimes I would catch the ends of the conversation and it would be like "What's that thing doing in his head? can I pull it?" or "Are you going to die? if you do can I have your  bedroom?"  And one kid with a very strong accent said "but I don't want you to die, I love you" That started his mum of crying and soon enough everybody was. It was hard to believe that 15 minutes ago the ward was filled with laughter and now it was just sobbing. This was literally how I expected it. Depressing! Thankfully a nurse came to get me. Unthankfully it was to take me to get my first chemotherapy. I managed to walk to the sunny little room but I felt like someone was pulling a bullet  out of my leg I was in agony just walking down the ward and to the end of the corridor. Aching joints are a side effect of leukaemia. Right now it felt like the main effect! Sitting down was painfull but it was worth it. Seemingly oblivious to my pain the nurse grabbed the still new tube and hooked me up to a machine. The action caused a Mexican wave effect under my skin. After a second it settled and I could breathe again.

"If you need anything shout me, ok" Said the nurse and she walked away leavinfg me to face it on my own. Slowly  the room filled up. Old people; children and adults. Cancer really had no boundaries!