Dear No One (Girlxgirl)(Lesbian Story)(EDITIING)

Eyes Closed

Hello! It's been a while, but you know not as long as like a year like last time. But I'm really here to stay. I'm going through some crap right now and it's a lot but the last time I had a rough patch in my life I wrote Kissing Olivia Winchester so clearly my pain has a good side. Hopefully this will turn out as good as this. Writing is my happy place more then anything.

P.S I always wonder if people are curious what the heck is up with my chapter titles lol. But I love this chapter title.

I also have a Twitter now lol @thegodathena17
If you wanna follow me!

Enjoy the madness lol

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This next morning I sit at the island in the kitchen barely eating my cereal, stirring it in circles. I'm  feeling hungry as I had when I arrived in the kitchen.

"Any reason why you are letting that cereal turn into mush?" My mother says drying her hands with a dish towel since they were damp from washing dishes. She is right, my cereal has turned to mush, making it all the more unappealing. I push it away not really wanting to pretend I am going to eat it anymore.

" It's just.." I trail off as I try to gather my words for what I want to stay. She just waits patiently not wanting to rush me.

" Yesterday, I made a decision that I'm not sure I want to make. My brain is telling me that it is smart, the decision I made, that I need to let go."

I picture Dylan, smiling and laughing so carefree last night. I think of her as the caring person that she is, even though she doesn't know how to show it sometimes. Or the way that she just seems so effortlessly beautiful, which she probably would never think of herself that way. I think of how she is so intense and charming at the same time. I think if her faint dimples that show on her face when she grins too wide. How she is just to be always there for me when I had rough times.

All of it my chest hurt in a good way. For her, everything that she does for me is so insignificant  but for me are colossal. I don't know how or if I can let her go.

" But another part of me wants something else." I keep explaining to my mother very vaguely though I feel she knows what I'm talking about because somehow mothers usually do. But she just listens to what I have to say because I'm clearly struggling. " The thing is I can't have it. "

My mother looks at me worried now. I know I probably look like I'm on the verge of crying. She then comes around the island forcing me into a tight hug. I feel my throats close up a bit as I bury my face in her chest. I can't help but remember the hug from last night.

" Oh, honey." My mother coos soothingly, smoothing my hair down as a comforting gesture. I can feel tears stinging my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

I hear light footsteps near the kitchen and I know we are being watched, but I don't bother pulling away from my mother.

" You think she is sick?" Joel whispers to Alec unsuccessfully, since we can clearly hear them from where we are.

"Mommy hugs me when I'm sick," Alec responds. They are silent for a moment but I hear them approach mom and I.

" Are you sick Wren?" Joel says tugging on my shirt. I pull back from my mother but I  turn away slightly to wipe my face of any stray tears that may have fell from my eyes. Then I pick Joel up and set him on my lap. For a his age he is a bit smaller so he fits into my lap perfectly. I put my chin on his head letting myself feel comforted by the boy.

My mother picks up Alec settling him on her waist. When I don't say anything, mostly because I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling to a seven-year-old, my mom speaks for me.