A Necessary Struggle: Spring Semester

Chapter 5: A Fantasy in Limbo

Harmony followed Wes into the empty lecture room that was smaller than the one she just left. She stood by the shut door holding tightly to the strap of her leather messenger bag. The last time she placed eyes on Wesley was at the festival when he told her he loved her. The unexpected birth of Ameera, Alyssa's recovery, and finals ate up all her time and she didn't fret about it.

Wesley's words threw her for a loop. She didn't know he was that serious. Love was a four-letter word that brought on a lot of responsibility. It was serious and Harmony seriously didn't want to make that commitment with Wesley Florence.

There was someone who made her toy with the idea of tying her life to someone. A guy who checked off everything on her list but he wasn't available, not anymore.

"Long time no see," Wesley uttered as he turned away from the window.

She couldn't deny that he was a treat to the eyes in sweats and a Texas University lime sweatshirt but he just wasn't the treat she was hungry for.

"Yep." Harmony nodded once then slipped her hand into the back pocket of her jeans.

"So... how have you been?" He beamed that stellar smile that had a way of always getting him out of trouble. "How was your break?"

Harmony shrugged, this small talk was too awkward for her. "It was a much-needed vacation..." She blew out her cheeks. "Got some needed family time." She gestured to him, "How was yours?"

"I went up to Boston...saw my grandfather." He sniffed looking at his shoes.

Harmony took a couple steps forward moved with concern, "Is he okay?"

"He's fine." He looked over at her, a gleam of pleasure flickering in his face at how close she was standing to him. "We just went to see him...cause you know...we don't know how long he has."

Harmony shook her head knowing that feeling well, her Aunt took her last breath three years ago—it was liver disease that took her life.

"I was thinking..." Wes brushed his hand over his coiled mane. "That we should do something...since we're back in town."

"Um..." Harmony toyed with the gavel hanging at the end of her gold necklace. "I guess...but..." The conjunction caused his smile to wane. "It's not a date."

"But aren't we dating?" The words slowly tugged out of his mouth as confusion draped itself over his face. 

Technically he was right since they never had a formal conversation about the status of their relationship. She let things between them stay frozen in the moment at the festival. A part of her thought it was evident that they weren't on the same page with him being honest and open about his feelings and her not being able to decipher what it was she felt about him. 

"Last year was a lot." She added more space between them. "And the way you talked to Laurent."

"I'm sorry." Wes rushed over to her but she held out her hand. He halted. "I'll apologize to him, too. If that's what you want."

"What I want is..." She clasped her hands together. "I don't know. You said you love me but sometimes you treat me like a possession to be coveted."

He nodded fervently, "I get it. This is new to me. Uncharted. Uncharacteristic. You're my first actual girlfriend and yes I was an asshole at times, Har...your the one person that cares about me...just me and not what I can do and it felt like I was losing you." He exhaled loudly, shoulders slumping. "I panicked."

"And you're my boyfriend and I get that we're navigating this relationship thing and..." She tilted her head not knowing if the uptick of his mouth was a good thing. "Love is a big commitment. One that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I thought we were fun and companionship."

"We are." He pushed up the sleeves of his sweatshirt showing the gold bracelet she got him for his birthday. "I just love the companionship that we have."

She stuck her hand in her thick mass of curls, "I don't know." 

Two figments warred in her body. One that enjoyed spending time with him and the potential of what they could be. People made mistakes, it was a fact she learned last year from her familiar ordeal but they could also redeem themselves. Then there was the other side of her that perceived the way he behaved last year as a dull red flag that could mature into a problem but the man that stood before her didn't seem villainous. Matter of fact, she knew all his good qualities and adorned them. 

"Harmony." He quietly spoke loud enough to pull her from her pensive thoughts. "I don't want to lose you. Tell me what you want me to do."

 She shook her head at his words. "You didn't even believe me when I told you nothing was going on between me and Cairo." 

"He doesn't just want to be your friend. Anyone can see that." He held up his hand halting her words. "But I should've just trusted you and I do...I understand that now."

"Mhmm." She sounded still digesting his words. They were all the right words so why was her stomach flashing a warning? Maybe she was too cautious or maybe it was her ability to overthink the simplest things. "I never gave you a reason not to trust me."

Wesley swallowed. "True."

"Our relationship status is..." She shrugged. "Unclear at the moment."

"In limbo." He rubbed his hand down the side of his stunned face. "Can we at least still hang out?"

Harmony reached back for the door handle, "I need some time." She opened the heavy wood door, "I'll text you."     

Do you think Harmony should've gone with her gut and broken up with Wesley? Why do you think she's unsure about what to do?