Broken Clocks

Blame Part 3

It doesn't surprise me that the banks are the ones how dug the world into a pit and decided to furnish it. I mean what else do you expect from them? We gave them our money made them rich, giving them whatever amount of money they wanted for gamble. They turned oblivious to everything and once the stocks crashed we are the ones that got the consequence.

We walked for about an hour throw the chilled streets with nothing but the sound of foot steps and the rustle of the dead leaves occasionally accompanied by the educational hacking of random standbyer. We finally we arrived at the trainyard.

There was maybe twenty workers just sitting around in train crates or on the ground smoking a cigarette. Some were carrying metal bars to wherever they needed to go. Some were shoveling coal covered with black powder. There were a couple of shacks just randomly placed. Me and Ever hid behind one, we would either have to wait for a train to start moving or until it got darker. It all depending on which came first for us to leave because there is no way in hell we could just walk up to a cart and hop on in with this many people. Even if I had the money to buy us a set I wouldn't because when Isic wakes up the first thing he'll do is call the police and tell his employers keep a very close eye for us. He'll know we would be around his precious trains, but hopefully he wouldn't think we would hop one, because that small piece of information very well may be our only hope we have on being throw with Isic.

We sat down behind the shack. I could hear some men nearby were talking about their kids. One of them had a 3 year old the other a 5 year old and one on the way. He was terrified, he didn't have enough money to feed the three of them and now there was going to be a fourth. I just listened to him talk. He sounded so depressed, like all hope he had was lost. But who could blame him? I know how Isic pays his workers and it's maybe enough for a child and adult. I heard the man ask the other what to do.

There was a silence for a moment then the other man said, "I think the only thing you can do is pray to god you'll find a way for you and your family to survive, and I'm sorry I can't say something more hopeful but you're screwed and may god see your suffering and have mercey."

After that there was the shuffle of one man's feet as he walked away. As for the other one he stayed for a while and cried. I could hear the soft huff as he breathed tried to keep quiet. I felt so bad. My heart sinking as I sat there just listening to this man's pain.

I looked over at Ever who was exhausted, she had dark circles around her eyes already and was sitting up against the shack tightly holding the jacket. I don't even know if she was really aware of the talk that just happened, and frankly I hope she wasn't. It looked like she was just zoned out and not paying attention to any of her surroundings. But then again she did that a lot, I could be teaching her a lesson in one of my school books and I'm five minutes in then she'll look at me with a blank face and I know that I have to start over. It's just a normal thing Ever dose.

She is so confusing sometimes. She's both childish and mature over her years. So stubborn to, just like our mother was, and I suppose myself. But mom would never stand down if she believe in something and it seems Ever has that same passion. And she is always kind, and always has second guesses herself, and humble, and controdicting her fearsness she is passive. Of course there's also her tendency to just check out of reality from time to time. But it's just how Ever works and there's nothing wrong with that. She's perfect in my eyes, always has been.

(8)

Ever had fallen asleep and I just let her be. It is probably better for her to sleep and then we leave so she isn't trying to hop a train exhausted and something bad happen because of it. I watched the dull gray almost white sky change into a dreary, muddy, blue as the sun slowly set.

While Ever slept I managed to actually put the jacket on her so she didn't freeze. I chuckled softly to myself imagined her waking up and slapping me in the face which she would do knowing her and her strong headedness.

When she was little and mom was still alive we used to have the best time together just the 3 of us. Mom was such a brave woman, she didn't care what society said about women being under everything. She would run around town and bring me and Ever along with and we would make complete scenes out in public just playing with each other. One time before we went out she took an old dress, tore the shirt off putting the remainder of the dress on. Then put on men's pants and dressed little 1 year old Ever the same using a potato bag to make little pants. Then we all went shopping like that. I remember how pleased she was with herself and I was grinning right along with her the whole time with a beaming sense of pride. People stared and started whispers of course, and eventually it got back to Isic. That was the first night he beat her.

She put me and Ever behind the couch, "You stay here and hole you're sister and do not let her go no matter what you understand me George, no matter what," I remember her telling me. After that there was the sound of shattered glass and things being thrown. There was yelling from Isic that wasn't understandable or maybe I just don't remember. There was painful yelps from our mom. Then there was a slamming of a door and all I could hear was uncontrollable crying. Eventually the crying sort of stopped there was a shuffling of some sorts and the sound of sniffling and mom trying to holding her breath for periods of time. I was confused about what was happening I mean people keep quiet about these types of things, the things that are bad in the world. Maybe they think if they don't acknowledge it that it will go away or doesn't exist, I don't really know.... I was so afraid to move or even breath to deep and make a sound. Ever was screaming in my lap and I had no idea what to do. After another minute our mom came around the corner, there was blood on what was left on her dress but other then that there was nothing other than the red tiredness in her eyes as she held the crying back. Then she took Ever to calm her down then laid her down for the night.

"It's ok love, you were very brave and did an awesome job ok. It will be fine," she said as she crouched down to my level and gave me a hug.

It took me till after she died to actually understand what was happening when there was the yelling of our father, because after she died the beatings were targeted at me. I always thought if I just took all the punches from Isic she would be as safe as it was going to get around a man like him, but I was obviously wrong and that's why it's my fault. Because I was wrong and should have taken her away before this had the chance to even happen.