Jaci and Ricky: The Untold Story

Chapter Fourteen: Jaci

The day after the rescue haunted Jaci. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw herself pulling the trigger on that policeman. No matter what she did, she couldn't get the image out of her mind. It made her bitter, distant and silent. Even Ricky stayed away, passing his time up front with Sara. She didn't blame him. The few times he'd tried to talk to her, she'd kept her face down, giving one-word answers.

They were back in the woods where they felt safest, off the road and away from people. Neal called for a rest and asked everyone to gather branches and leaves for a fire. She wandered off a little to search for branches, glancing behind her every few steps to make sure she didn't lose the group.

"Hey."

She turned around to see Ricky approaching her. She felt a flicker of expectation, just as she did every time he approached, but she didn't say anything.

He waited a moment, then asked, "Can I talk to you?"

She shrugged. When he fell silent, she bent over and picked up a few more branches, fighting back sudden tears. She didn't know what to say to him, but she knew he wouldn't keep trying forever.

"Am I bothering you?" he asked.

She shook her head, not lifting her eyes. "Just gathering branches."

His tone softened. "I want to help you, but I kind of feel like you don't want me around."

Jaci couldn't look at him. "My mind's a mess. I can't think about anything right now."

"Me, you mean?" He touched her arm, and she finally looked up. He didn't look angry, mostly concerned. "It's okay, Jace. I'm your friend, right?"

She swallowed hard as her eyes grew hot. Again. Her lips trembled. "I'm not sure I can be anyone's friend. I have nothing to give. I feel so completely alone." It was the most ridiculous thing ever, and she knew it. It was why she hadn't voiced her feelings.

His arms wrapped around her, enfolding her in an embrace, but she didn't relax. She meant it. She wasn't sure she had any emotional reserve left. "Maybe you should let me be," she murmured, pulling away.

His hands closed on her shoulders and he gave her a gentle shake, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I'll never leave you."

Her heart warmed at his words, a tiny flicker of humanity returning. She gave a small smile and nodded, turning her gaze away.

He let go of her and stepped back, clearly giving her any space she thought she might need. Ducking her head, she gathered a few more branches and then returned to the campsite.

#

Ricky didn't return to the campsite with Jaci. She sat on the dirt and watched everyone dump their piles of branches into the middle. Finally Neal brushed his hands off and stepped back.

"Where's Ricky? Time to light that fire."

Jaci glanced around the darkening forest and frowned.

"I saw him earlier," Sara said.

Amanda glanced at Jaci and then at Neal. "Want me to look for him?"

Something stirred within Jaci. Some longing, some urgent need, and she stood up. "I'll find him." She nearly tripped over her feet in her hurry, in her sudden desire to be near him, to be with him.

She returned to the spot where she'd last seen him, stumbling over tree roots and bushes as the last bits of light vanished from the forest.

"Ricky," she called. "Ricky, it's me. It's Jaci." She held her hands out in front of her face, amazed at how the darkness obscured her vision.