𝔸𝕣𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕒 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖 𝔼𝕩𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤

#63

Her words nearly broke my heart. I honestly wanted her to open up and share her feelings. I wanted every possible part of Y/N, because that is how much I adore her.

"Your problems are my problems. What's going on?"

"I don't even know, Ariana. I just-" she was stuttering massively with her own words. I waited patiently for her to continue.

"Like, I love this, you know I do. I love my fans, I love preforming. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world"

"I know that. They know that, Y/N" I calmed her.

"I just... sometimes I get so restless while touring. I can't sleep. Sometimes, I don't even feel like eating, I just wanna..." her voices died off at the end.

I sighted in pain. I wish, I could reach out for her hand right now and give it a little but comforting squeeze. I wish, I could let my hand stroke her cheek to calm her down. Really, that was the only thing on my mind right now.

"You get homesick, baby. And that's okay. That's understandable. You've been gone for so long now"

"But I don't want to be ungrateful"

"Oh honey, you're not. I don't think anyone has any doubt, that you appreciate this opportunity very much. Everyone knows you feel blessed. But it's okay to miss home anyways. It's okay to miss your friends and your family-"

"And you" she interrupted.

She made my cheeks burn with her words and the kid wasn't even here. I genuinely didn't believe, she even knows the power she has over me.

"I miss you too"

"All I want right now is to cuddle with you. My little ari bug" she whined, before sighing.

I smiled hearing her say that. "I wish, I could be there for you baby, but just hold on one more day" I whispered back.

I felt so guilty, though I knew, I really shouldn't. I couldn't go with her every time while touring.

"I guess, I get overwhelmed sometimes" she spoke.

I knew, she was probably talking more to herself , than she was really talking to me. Y/N did that a lot when talking about her feelings.

Sometimes, when she didn't know how to put words on how she felt, she would talk to me, but really, she was calming herself down, trying to figure out, what was actually going on inside her head.

"That's okay, Y/N. Everyone struggles sometimes, even if we're doing something we love. Struggling is just a part of life and you shouldn't be feeling guilty for missing home. Not ever. Your fans are amazing, they understand"

"You think so?"

"I know so. They love you Y/N, I'm sure they can imagine how hard it must be, to be separated with the people you love for such a long time. They would never judge you for that" I tried.

And with my words right there, I think, I hit the nerve to this problem. She was afraid they'd judge her for feeling like this. She was afraid, they would take it as if, she didn't appreciate them, if she missed home or felt sad once in a while when she was touring.

Sometimes I don't think she truly realizes, just how supportive her fans really are. They would never get angry with her for something like that. Actually, I was certain, that if they knew how she was feeling right now, they would be the first once telling her to take a break.

"Y/N, it's okay. It will be better in the morning, I promise. Everything is always better in the morning"

"I know it will be. Maybe I should call dad, that usually helps"

"That's a good idea. You might want to wait a bit. At least until the sun comes out" I spoke, trying to joke a little. A laughter slipped through her lips. It really eased up the tension.

"Yeah, you're probably right" she laughed.

"Are you going to be okay?" I sighed.

"I'll be okay, besides I feel much better now, than before" she exhaled.

"Is there anything you want me to do?" I asked.

"No, you already did enough"

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"Talking to you feels like home. I'm better now"

"Baby, I miss you so terribly much" I said, feeling a little lump in my stomach.

"I know, me too" she sighed. I could almost see, how she'd probably close her eyes, before taking in a deep breath.

"You just have to rock that show tomorrow and then hurry your lovely little ass back home to me" I said, feeling a smile grow on my lips by the thought of Y/N.

"Soon baby, soon. Then my little ass will be all yours" Y/N teased me.

It made me bite my lip just thinking about it. Finally having Y/N, hopefully naked, back in my bed. Finally, having Y/N all to myself again.

"I'll be looking forward to that" I panted.

"You do that baby, you do that" she teased even more. "I'll let you sleep now, darling. Thanks for calming me down" she said.

"Always baby" I whispered back.

"See you soon. I love you Ariana."

"I love you Y/N." I said as she hung up the phone, and I dropped back down on the bed.

I gazed over at the clock. Only twenty-three hours and seven minutes before I get to see her again.

^^^
A/N

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