I Will Survive... with Louis Tomlinson?

Chapter 38.

I heard Maria shuffling around in the kitchen, most likely making some food or something. I hopped my butt up off the sofa and shuffled towards the kitchen doorway.

"Hey." I spoke, warning her of my presence.

"Hey?" She replied sceptically, a tub of ice-cream and a huge spoon gripped tightly in her hands.

"I think I'm just gonna go to sleep for a couple hours, this morning was kinda draining."

"Oh, are you sure you don't want to sit and watch romantic films on TV with a huge tub of ice-cream?" She asked, flaunting the tub of delicious delight in my face, flashing a puppy dog look in the process. I didn't want to deny her attempts to cheer me up but it wasn't something that would make me feel any better.

"I don't think anything romantic is going to help right now." I sighed, pushing myself off the doorframe.

"Okay, that's understandable. You don't mind if I go out for a bit do you? Errands to run."

"No, go, go. That's fine, I'll probably just sleep all afternoon."

"Are you sure you're going to be alright on your own?" She questioned but was already putting a jacket on.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." I replied, trying to reassure her. She was acting like the mother figure in my life which was missing, something which I desperately needed. I really should have appreciated my mum a lot more before the accident, I took her and my dad for granted. I assumed they'd be there forever or at least a lot longer. My life was going in a straight line and they were there to keep me going in the right direction but now I have to think for myself, I have no guidance, no-one to give me advice and no-one to hug me when I cry now. As much of a friend Maria is, it's hard to trust anyone to be your friend when your last one was Taylor, I couldn't deal with another person in my life like that.

I heard the front door close as I made my way to the spare room which Maria had kindly offered me to stay in. I hated feeling like a burden, I didn't like to intrude on anyone's personal space, especially when I could afford a place of my own. As I walked inside the room I noticed the very simple interior, it wasn't immensely decorated. The colour scheme was neutral and the furniture was simple tones of brown. I took one look at my belongings piled up in the corner and scrunched my eyes together, how did I get to this stage? I took a deep breath before prizing my eyes open. I tried to keep my breathing calm so I wouldn't break down in tears or a dramatic state, crying isn't going to solve anything I kept reminding myself. It's easy to tell yourself one thing but to actually do it is another. I turned away from the mountain shaped pile and slumped down onto one side of the bed. The window was directly opposite which is where I aimed my eyes. The main road was right outside the window, I could hear and see the after work traffic rushing by. My gazed remained there for several minutes, in that space of time hundreds of cars had zoomed past, not even noticing me aimlessly staring out at them. The traffic was soon slowing down just like my breathing, it was eventually beginning to settle back to a normal place. My eyes subconsciously flickered backed to the pile in the corner, my hands were already reaching for my laptop which was poking out from under my clothes. I grabbed it safely in my hands before placing it on the bed. I ran my fingers over the distinct logo fixed on the front. Just one everyday item brought back a flashback of memories. I didn't buy this laptop, I didn't know I was getting, it was a surprise from the one I loved, love. I quickly flipped it open before I began to get sentimental over a computer. The screen immediately flashed to life, displaying my twitter page which had recently been dead for the past couple of days. I wasn't exactly the best at keeping in contact with my fans. The only problem I had with my fans was that ninety eight percent of them were the boy's fans first and would most likely have questions to ask, nothing stays private for very long. You sign up for this life, there's no way out of it.