Don't lie (Liam)

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NOT MY STORY

There's violence in living and in dying, in loving and in abandoning, in praying and in sinning. There is no soft way to survive. She'd always found solace in him though, and him in her. They were homeless hearts lost under broken streetlights looking for a place to rest and seeking refuge in someone else's chest. They were each others shelter from the storm but lately there's been cracks in the ceiling and it's letting the rain in.

They'd been falling apart rather than together for a while now. He's been rendered colour blind to everything but blue and their kisses taste of pennies. Her heartbreak was different to his, he was snappy and short with her like instead of dropping her heart from his sleeve he'd just add a few more nails into it instead. No, her heartbreak was more like signs of rumination cryptically written on abandoned buildings, trains, subways, bridges.Hidden well yet still there. Still important. Maybe that's why he keeps acting the way he does, because he can't tell that it's affecting her. Continuing on with the passing insults and the tone of voice that makes her chest tight. He knows they're breaking though, can see the darkness seeping through the iridescent happiness they'd built around them, but he doesn't know how to fix it. Can't figure out where they'd gone wrong. It still hurts when he sees her cry though, that much he knows.

He'd gotten home earlier than expected. The house was cold and quiet. The coldness he was growing used to but quietness, however, was new. She was always doing something to keep her mind off of the brokenness around her, but today? Today it was quiet and it's got him looking for her. It wasn't until he was outside of their bedroom door that he heard it. Heard her. The sound doesn't go to his head or his heart, it goes to his stomach and he feels sick because he knows exactly why it's happening. She's sobbing and it's because of him. He's almost scared to open the door, scared to see the fragments of the girl he'd picked away at.

"Baby?" It feels so foreign on his tongue as he pushes the door open and she's gasping when she hears it. Palming her eyes and brushing away fallen tears before he can see her in the state she's in.

"Hi Harry, how was your day?" Her voice is soft yet scratchy and she's turning to look are him, praying her eyes aren't as puffy as they feel.

"Oh baby, no." Taking in her exhausted appearance he's all but running towards her to bring her into his arms and for the first time she doesn't melt into his touch, instead she freezes. She's stiff in his arms and he's close to sobbing himself because of it. "What's happened hm? What's got you crying sweet?"

He knows what it is, he knows it's because of the current state of their love but he's hoping it's something else. Wishing she'd tell him some asshole at work upset her. He just wants her to tell her it's not because of him but he knows she won't. He knows it is.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. it's fine."

"Hey, hey no, listen to me. If you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine." He's pulling away from her to look her in the eyes and she doesn't know what to do. He's being so gentle with her. He's talking to her like he used to, like he cares. It's so alien to her, she's been missing his love for so long, she can't react to it in any way other than to start crying again. She's held it together for so long and she can't love and be loved like this anymore.

"What happened to us H?" Her words are shaky, there's silent tears still finding their way down her cheeks and she's staring at him with tired eyes.

"What do you mean poppet?" He hates himself for asking, because he knows what she means, he just needs to hear her say it.

"I mean when did we become this? When did our love become tainted and grey? You don't kiss me anymore H, you don't tell me you love me and I miss you. I miss you so much and that doesn't make sense because you're right here! But you're not here the way I want you to be. The way I need you to be. I need you to be here Harry. I need you to be here loving me again."

She spoke of her sadness and he took her words like daggers to the heart. His eyes are full of tears and regret and he doesn't know what to do or say because she's right. She tells him she loves him every night before they fall asleep and he cant even remember the last time he said it back. He's looking at her and he knows it's his turn to talk but he just doesn't know what to say. What he does know? He knows he needs her to know that he still loves her. That he's never stopped.

"I- I am so sorry my love. I love you, I love you so much. You've gotta know that. I can't- I just- I love you." He can't think of anything else to say, settles for kissing her and as he does his hands are holding her face and his eyes are squeezed shut and the coldness in the house seems to be lifted and left replaced by warmth. They pull apart to breathe and he's kissing her face, leaving no trace of skin untouched, whispering coos of "I love you" and "I'm sorry" and she smiling. She's genuinely smiling because they're finding their way back to each other. Their love isn't lost. The storm is over. Their hearts are home.

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