Irony, therapy and a little bit of Jeremy

chapter 9

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. There are sick children trying to sleep and I doubt your daughter needs the stress" said a nurse who really didn't sound sorry for kicking them out.

"That's ok we were just leaving. Good bye Willow" Injected my dad taking my mum's hand he started to lead her away.

"I don't think you should come anymore"

My voice was barely audible and they looked at me like it was a joke. Just one big joke.

"Willow-Sage Melrose you need your family around you, we won't stop coming"

"I agree I do need my family but Elsa stopped that dead" Defiance filled my voice and my mum's eyes took on a vicious glaze.

"You don't think of us as family?" She asked. I intended to reply honestly.

"Why would I? For the first few years of my life I spent them on my own sitting in cold corridors or befriending  receptionists, basically anyone who would speak to me. Then you started your stupid little holidays where I wasn't invited. I swear you only got me chester so I wouldn't get too lonely and now this? let's be honest it's not like I'm saying stop coming, just keep doing what you are doing. What you have always done for me. Nothing. Even when I have the thing that killed Lilly you still Can't love me, can you? So no I dont class you as family. And frankly I don't think you class me as family either" hard as stone I watched as every word brake the icy barriers they kept up. Tears raced down my farthers face and my mother could have been in a coma for all the emotion that you could see.

"That's not true willow. You are our daughter. We love you just as much as we loved Lilly and Elsa. Please don't keep us from coming" My farthers broken voice almost made me want to cry but I couldn't.

"You know you weren't the only ones who lost Lilly. I loved her two. She was my little sister. I wanted to save her and when I couldn't I have never felt so Useless. You never forgave me even when I forgave myself. But you could forgive Elsa?"

"Please you really should leave, your distressing willow." Said the nurse her eyes beginning to turn frantic as she looked from me to my dad to the heart monitor that was all over the place.

"What's happening to her? Why is she bleeding? Tell me!" My farther screemed. Lifelessly standing my mother stared at me with empty eyes. I felt the tear drop but when I went to wipe it blood stained my hand. Ruthless red tears dripped onto the pristine bedsheets. General anaesthetic was administered through the fresh port in my chest. Falling around me the world collapsed and for the first time in days I felt peaceful.

Apparently the flood of emotions caused me to bleed from my eyes. It's rare and I have been told that after tests I shouldn't be to worried. "Just like a nose bleed" Said the doctor that saw me. Last night something broke in my mum. They say she is in a form of Psychosis and she has been administered into a specialist ward. They say it was caused by great amounts of emotional pain. I should care. I don't care. The doctor that saw me last night has prescribed me some mood stabilizers to stop me from reaching that point of emence emotional pain. Oh and he also said i was depressed. It's not abnormal for somebody with cancer to get depressed after all their body is essentially rejecting itself.

When I got back to my ward Jermery was back from seeing his consultant and he was upright in his bed with a white board. The bed on the other side of mine was now made and held a body. As I got closer I stopped to look at the scene. Weird. The body in the bed next to me had huge hollow green eyes and sunken cheek bones. Like Jermery's they looked tortured but very much alive and they watched Jermerys every move. Every stroke of his pen, Every rise and fall of his chest, every blink of his eye the little boy latched onto. Stepping towards my bed I felt icy fingers wrap around my wrist. Looking down I saw the frail hands that looked like bone wrapped in cling film. Gulping I met the boys gaze and a small smile began to spread across his face. Smiling back I felt like a idiot and I tried to take my hand back. Clinging onto me the little boy just didn't want to let go. "I think you have a friend" His voice was filled with amusement and I heard my bed creek unapprovingly. His long frame allowed his trainers to touch the end of my bed and I mustered a small laugh. "Seriously he's been here for hours and hasn't said a word or moved a muscle." The amusement left Jermerys voice and I turned to look at him. I couldn't decide if this was Jermery being serious or not. Glancing down I saw the boy looking at me with innocent eyes. Arghhh I'm really rubbish with kids. I mean where do I start? Do I talk to them like a adult or like a baby? Taking a leap into the void I said

"Hi honey, what's your name?" Slowly he released my hand, I could still feel his icy fingers around my wrist. Uncertainty filled his jade green eye's, is he going to anwser me? I thought frantically. Honestly I didn't want to be lumbered with a child but if I was the only person he reached out to, literally, I didn't want to spoil it.

"Noah" he crocked. His voice sounded echoey and I bet he had a cold. ofputtingly his nose started to run and I passed him a tissue of the bed side table.

"Thats a great name champ! how old are You?" Jermery said obviously alot more comfortable with kids. Smiling encouragingly was all I could do and I think it worked. Eventually.

"I'm seven, Do you know where my mummy is? could you ask for me? please" The last bit got swallowed by a body racking cough and I jumped at the chance to get out of the situation.

"Of course sweetie. I will go ask now" Somehow I mustered a smile and I got up to leave. Jersey jumped right into conversation about football and I laughed. Still trying to make everyone else happy. Finally I found the ward sister. She spoke on the phones do I politely waited. Snapping onto me her eyes took on a angry look and I remembered the great escape. It Can't look too good when two people walk straight out of your ward. She said her goodbyes and rounded on me.

"Yes Willow?" Her words were sharp and for a second it took me a back.

"Ermm I was wondering if you could tell me where errmm Noah's mum is?" My sentence came out with far too many 'erms' but she answered.

"Noah's mum overdosed last week after she found out he had terminal cancer... Why?"