Fayn (A LOTR novella)

Chapter 17: Erase

"What is going to happen once I get the ring back from Sam? Will you come with us?" Frodo asks.

"You will forget everything." I glance down at the dirt.

"Wh- but why? I don't want to forget what's happened, what you've done to help me!" he shouts.

"Shh! He'll hear you!" I whisper hoarsely.

"Sorry." he whispers back. "I don't want to forget though."

"Oh but my sweet Frodo, you won't remember I was even here. None of them will.  You will go back to exactly where you were before you died and complete the task of destroying the one ring." I say sorrowfully.

"Please Fayn, don't take away my memory of this!  I want to remember all that you've done for me, and all you've done for the others as well.  Please!"  he pleads.

I have to look away, because this is not something that I want to do.  I want this hobbit to remember me.  I want all of them to remember.  But they can't. If Ahi found out what had come to pass, he would see these new allies of mine as a weakness to exploit.  I would only get them hurt.  That is not something I can risk, no matter what I want.  The eagles of Alhena have already paid the ultimate price for being my allies, and I cannot afford a repeat of that in Middle Earth.

"Frodo, I cannot allow you to remember.  If my brother found out, he would come and kill you just to spite me.  I could not allow something like that to happen when it is my duty to protect." I speak sadly. "You must understand, Frodo, that this is not something I wish to do. I truly do not want to do this. It must be done, though."

"What if I didn't tell anyone?  I could keep it a secret, even from the others, Sam too.  Please Fayn, what you have done I can never repay you for, but forgetting it would be a terrible thing. You have given me a second chance to complete my task, which is more than I could have hoped for."

I make the mistake of looking into his eyes, and I immediately feel terrible.  From his perspective, I suppose I am taking away the truth.  He will live a lie, believing that nothing had happened to him, that he never entered an inbetween state of life and death.  I couldn't stand the look of betrayal I would recieve from Frodo if I told him I was going to wipe his memory.

So I lie.  I lie through my teeth and it almost breaks my heart how easily he believes me.  I almost wish he would question it, make me swear that I was telling the truth.  He doesn't though; the young hobbit trusts me completely.

"You must tell no one else, Frodo but I will send you back with these memories.  The others mustn't remember because bringing you back with the ring will alter what has happened." I say seriously, bending down to place both hands on his shoulders, leaving no option for him but to meet my stare.

"What has happen while I have been in this place?" he asks, confused.

"It doesn't matter. You must bring the one ring to me immediately so that I may open the portal. Allowing two people through will be extremely difficult, and I have no idea how long I will be able to keep it open.  We must all be ready."

"Alright." he says determinedly, turning and beginning to creep his way slowly towards Sam.

My heart breaks a little inside.

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