The Cupcake Theory

20) A Loonngg Weekend Ft 'Wait What?'

20) A Loonngg Weekend Ft 'Wait What?"

When Sam mentions that there are creatures called couch bugs that live in his lounge, my first thought is that he's just bluffing.

He is trying to leave me paranoid that something is moving underneath the pillows. To make me believe that I'm going to get bitten by these creatures and probably die from a disease that I can't pronounce. To leave me unable to fall asleep because I overthink every situation.

He succeeds. I get hardly any sleep and when I finally wake up from my very short nap (because it definitely felt like something was biting me) I find small red marks running up the side of my leg.

So he wasn't bluffing, that's good to know.

Walking down the stairs this morning is a struggle as my back aches from the multiple positions I had to lay in last night. The smell of bacon crackling in the frying pan lures me to the large tiled kitchen.

I'm surprised to find myself greeted by a warm hug and a stack of waffles with bacon.

I sit down at the round marble table with Sam's parents and notice that Sam is not at the table with us. He also wasn't still asleep in his bed when I left the bedroom. Maybe he was abducted by Aliens in the middle of the night.

I'm not complaining, if I can avoid him for the rest of the weekend I think I might actually enjoy myself.

When the kitchen door that leads outside is flung open I know I've spoken too soon and dreamt an impossible dream. Sam struts through the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before sculling the entire thing.

"Mum, Dad" He gives his parents a cheerful greeting then he looks at me "lump of human matter."

Nice to know that I've been downgraded to a clump of atoms.

"Sam, for the sake of your parent and most importantly me, can you stay at least 3 metres away from us until you have a shower. Your sweat stench is making my eyes water; you seriously stink like a boys locker room. Go rub flowers on yourself or roll in some dirt, I don't really care. As long as it covers up this," I motion to his sweat-stained clothes and slightly soaked hair. I never knew a human could sweat so much from just going for a run.

Ignoring all of what I just said Sam sits opposite me smiles. "How was your sleep last night? I hope you weren't too uncomfortable."

"Just peachy, sleeping on the couch was an experience I'll never forget," the kinks in my back are evidence enough.

"You slept on the couch?" Sam's mum furrows her brow with worry, "I thought that you guys would just share the bed. It's big enough for two people" I feel like she is trying to hint at something.

"Mackenzie insisted that she would sleep on the couch. See she has a condition where-"

Not wanting him to go any further I interject "I punch people who wake me up." The family stares at me intrigued "It's a condition they haven't been able to cure yet," I dig back into the bacon waffles savouring the combination of salty and sweet ignoring the odd stares.

***

Avoiding Sam isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be as the property his family owes is huge. I plant myself under a tree with a blanket and read a book from their large collection for the entire day without being disturbed.

Though the peace doesn't last long as dinner may have involved a couple insults between Sam and I, awkward silences and an almost food fight when Sam 'accidentally' spills mashed potato on me. Such a waste of good food.