Ficlet Entries

SETHRANG- You missed me. Yeah, that's right I saw you go to visit...

SETHRANG- "You missed me. Yeah, that's right I saw you go to visit my grave every day, admit it."

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I saw her this time sitting on that bridge again, malapit lang ako sa kanya, malapit na malapit but a million miles away for her to feel me. She was sitting on that same spot, looking far beyond my reach. Malalim ang iniisip, sana alam ko, sana may kakayahan akong tanungin iyon just like the old times but again, I am nothing.

Because I can't be with her anymore. I want, pero paano kung hindi mo na pala puwedeng makasama yung taong mahal mo? And you have no choice but to see her so miserable because that person also wants to be with you but there are laws in this world that you can't transcend no matter what you did, kahit ano pa ang isugal mo.

I am sorry, Barbs. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Please be happy okay?

I hope she hears my words. Pinahid ni Barbs ang luha sa kanyang pisngi, then left that place.

Alam ni Seth pupunta si Barbs sa taong iyon.

Alam kong siya na yung nandyan para sa kanya.

He saw them last week at Barbs' condo. He knew that he is doing everything to make her feel alright. He knew that he is doing the right thing because he didn't want her to be sad again. The pain that he had caused her was already unbearable. And he took the blame for all of those things.

This is a torture right? Seeing that girl that you had promised to love forever. Seeing her with another man but you can't do anything.

Is this masochism? Seth told his self, pero wala naman siyang naiisip na ibang magagawa pa. Naiipit siya sa kagustuhang makita si Barbs at sa masakit na katotohanang wala na siya, wala na siya sa tabi ni Barbs. Wala na siya para hawakan ang kamay nito, wala na siya para patunayan dito na mahal niya ito.

Wala na siya.

Pero si Cyrus, nandiyan pa.

Mahirap i-let go ang taong mahal mo. Pero mas masakit siguro kung kailangan mo na siyang ipaubaya sa iba dahil hindi ka na parte ng buhay niya. At ang buhay na iyon ay magpapatuloy kahit wala ka.

Masakit, sobrang sakit.

He couldn't feel anything, why would he feel something?

But he was so sure the he was hurting. Patunay iyon ng nga luhang tumula sa kanya when he saw Cyrus kissed Barbs on the forehead.

It should be me, he thought himself. Really, Seth? How can you be so sure. He wanted to scream but no matter how hard he tried they couldn't hear him. No matter how loud.

That day, Barbs left something on the dashboard of Cyrus' car. He somehow felt happy and he searched for Barbs and saw her sitting on the grass.

"You missed me. Yeah, that's right I saw you go to visit my grave every day, admit it."