Ficlet Entries

BAYRUS- I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did

[BAYRUS- I wish I could say Ifelt guilty for what I did. I don't. &  If you wake up at adifferent time in a different place, could you wake up a different person?]

***

Barbs was gone again. Every time that this date would come I knew that she's gone. Because she was always in that place for two consecutive years of our so-called relationship.

Cyrus thought of those things while looking at the white ceiling of the room. Huminga siya nang malalim, he looked at the clock, 8 AM. Umaga na.

I tried and I'm trying to understand her. Alam ng Diyos na hindi lang ilang beses kong sinabi sa Kanya na, kakayanin ko. Kinakaya ko nga dati, bakit hindi ngayon?

Taking a deep breath he hugged the pillow and smelled her scent, ito lang okay na sa kanya. A proof that last night Barbs was on his side lying on this bed, on their bed.

Is there's such thing as ours? Nah, Cyrus stops overthinking things, she's here last night, every night and she is real.

Imbis na magmukmok pa tumayo nalang si Cyrus para maghanda ng almusal. As always, Barbs loves to eat. hHe smiled while placing the ham and bacon on the plate. 

Naalala niya na sa loob ng apat na taon ay kasama niya sa bahay na ito ang babaeng minahal na niya simula pa lang.

'You may now kiss the bride.' The priest said while smiling at them.

Sa totoo lang nanginginig si Cyrus. Fuck, this is not their first kiss, he already kissed Barbs when he tried to save her, sa mga bubog ng bintana, remember? But this will be their first 'real' kiss. Yes, they have no 'real' kiss on the five months of their relationship.

'Kiss me.' He heard Barbs, whispering at him. Mukhang naiinip na ito. 

God, Cyrus just fucking do it. 

He looked at her, she is so beautiful wearing this white gown Janine designed for her. Gusto niyang ipakurot ung braso niya kay Wes kanina kung nanaginip ba siya. Most especially when Barbs walked down the aisle a moment ago, wearing a black converse high-cut shoes. Gumana na naman ang pagka- non conformist ng babae. Kung hindi nga lang nadaan sa pakiusapan baka sa huwes lang sila nagpasakal. 

Well, if it is a hell of a dream, sino ba namang gustong magising pa diba? Once again, Cyrus looked at everyone. It was a simple wedding, siyempre kumpleto ang barkada from Janine to Vivien, Lean was there too, even Andreau and Zade. Complete attendance ang lahat and they were all happy for them. 

He smiled upon thinking those thoughts . Na naputol ng apakan ni Barbs ang paa niya.

"Isa pa, Casabueno, kung ayaw mong maging runaway bride ako, dalian mo."

And that's the signal, pagkaalis niya ng belo, he bent his head and kissed her. He heard the clapping and shouting of the people. It was the happiest day of his life. Dahil heto na si Barbs. Sa itinagal-tagal ng mga nangyari, heto na siya na ang pinili. Siya pa ang pinakasalan.

But deep down, in the smallest part of his heart, there's a doubt that he chose to ignore.

The first to two weeks of their marriage was okay. Okay beyond his expectation on Barbs, kasi expected niya na mag-pi-freak out ang babae dahil this was something different, this was a different level of their relationship. Kumbaga masyadong mabilis ang mga nangyari, kumbaga sa sobrang bilig ng phasing ng kwento nila kinakabahan siya baka kasi malapit na sila sa ending. 

Sobrang daming nalaman ni Cyrus about kay Barbs. Kagaya ng ayaw nito na basa ang sahig ng CR, ayaw nitong magsuot ng nighties (which is tinapon nga ni Barbs or the right term according to her 'ibinasura' ang mga lingerie na ibinigay ni Zade), ayaw nito ng puting kurtina and the lists were endless. But the most important thing above all these things was he love her so much, mas higit pa sa pagmamahal na ibinigay niya rito dati.