Scarred | ✔

Chapter 30: Apologize.

"I'm not trying to-"

"Oh shut up. Just tell me honestly that you care or not?" Melanie asked me growing irritated by the second.

I looked up and held her gaze until she finally understood that I do.

"Then at least don't say this stupid stuff in front of me. I really think you should go, because Dwayne and Cecelia told me that he's leaving for San Fransisco a week after his parents anniversary party and then he'll come back a day before the play." She said while walking around in my room.

"I know." I mumbled, remembering the time he told me this.

"So have you thought-" Melanie stopped hoping that I'd understand what she's trying to say.

"I don't know Mel, I don't know. We still have a year left and obviously I can't run away from him all the time since our friends are mutual, I just don't think it's the right time. Maybe I'll wait till the play?" I posed the question hoping she'd understand.

"That's like a month away!" She complained.

"And we both will be in proper positions to talk like mature people in a month's time I believe."

Melanie gave me a look of disbelief. "Oh don't get me started on maturity-"

"Mel, let's go!" Conan shouted calling her though our rooms were pretty close.

Melanie still didn't go with what I was planning and just rolled her eyes. "We're not done." She said, leaving the room.

I groaned, burying my face in my pillow. Why is everything getting so complicated?

~~~

The winterball was literally a blur and it's true, even if you told me I wouldn't have remembered so I don't think it matters. I had this huge fight with James so we aren't on talking terms though it sucks, I don't even know what to write now. I practically never know what to write. Anyway, I'm just going to finish memorizing my lines for the play. Take care.
Elene.

~~~

Around midnight I went to the kitchen, making sure I don't wake mom, Molly or Chet.

Taking out the leftover pizza from yesterday, I took my phone out to check messages and I was shocked to see nine messages from two hours ago. Every message was the same, a video.

Melanie, Amanda, Courtney, Cecelia, Dwayne, Greg, Damian, Jordan and even Violet had send me a video of a guy playing at the Musical Night live.

The only guy whose gaze I ever avoided.

And that made me open the video so quickly I almost dropped the slice of pizza.

"I can read people and I can figure them out. But when I saw you, the only thing I saw was hurt. I couldn't figure you out. You were like a challenge to me. And maybe that's the only reason that drew me more towards you and hey, I don't regret it at all. And that's it. That's when I thought I'm going to figure you out. I'm going to figure you out and I'm going to understand why you make me feel like this. This one's for you." Said the most familiar voice as he put his guitar on.

The whole school cheered and hooted as he started to sing Apologize, By One Republic.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as a tear trickled down my cheek. I felt weird standing here, if only I could just run to him while he sang for me.

He sang so beautifully, and I remembered at the camp how I had wished for him to sing for me some day. That day was here, and I couldn't even do anything about it.

I couldn't go to him, it was all too complicated. I couldn't make him mine and then show him how I was still not over the insecurities of my trust getting broken again. How I still thought that letting a guy in would destroy me mentally again. What would he do when he finally knew all of this, he would hate me.

I couldn't let him close to me and then hurt him this way. I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't.

At the same moment, Conan entered the house quietly. I looked up at him at an instant with tears now clogged to my eyes and he understood what I was watching.

He opened his mouth to say something but I ran to my room shutting the door.

~~~

"We have to talk to you." Conan said the next morning in the car, on our way to school.

"I can't see you mentally destroying yourself." Melanie said as she covered her hands with mine.

"I'm already destroyed mentally, Melanie." That was the first time I'd spoken since the night.

Melanie rolled her eyes. "None of us is going to ask you now what you've got in mind. I think it's best you both are left at your own, but just one thing." She looked at Conan like she wasn't going with the idea.

"And what is that?" I asked. How unconvincing does this sound that nobody is going to interfere, wow.

"Double date?" Melanie asked sheepishly.

I stared at her for two minutes, completely dumbfounded, checking if she was in her senses or not.

I mentally applauded them for gaining the courage to say such a stupid thing in this circumstance.

"Yeah, okay whatever." I mumbled to them seeing how happy they became with it.

"Are you serious?" Conan said, not looking back.

"Yes, it'll show you how it won't lead to anywhere."

But their smiles were telling me otherwise, which made me regret my decision.

---
Sorry for SUCH a late update!

VOTE. COMMENT. RECOMMEND! ❤