Another Guy

prologue

I take a deep breath.

The bed beneath my trembling body is one from my past. Early this morning my mother had given up her bedroom for me to move my things into. She had insisted on sleeping on the couch in the living room. Insisted that I be comfortable, after all I'd been through. I begrudgingly agreed after some convincing. She doesn't know the whole story though. No one does. Not that her and I were big on sharing secrets in the first place. If she wanted me to confide in her, she should have left that house, the other house, years ago. Left all the skeletons in the closets, packed up her kids, and moved. 

We haven't been face-to-face since my graduation in June. Now it's January and I'm surrounded by my mother's belongings in an unfamiliar house. My mom's just glad to have me home. Away from that boy. She's got both her kids under her roof again... like she deserves us. I can always count on her to want me back just as desperately as she always pretends the last decade didn't happen. But when I called her yesterday and asked if I could stay with her for awhile, she agreed immediately. I guess that must be her motherly instincts kicking in. 

For once.

I lean back into the mismatched blankets, inhaling their familiarity. Managing to relax for one second is a blessing. My stocking feet dangle over the edge, swinging rhythmically with my disheartened breathing. They drum against my luggage; the large, red leather suitcases I had been living out of for almost two years. I sighed, thinking of how I had so confidently left home at seventeen. But here I was, sixteen months later, laying back on my mother's bed, so much worse for ware.

My cellphone vibrates in my purse across the room. The lowest possible volume setting... and I always hear it. I prop myself up onto my elbows, my stomach turning. I can never get away from the text messages, no matter how far away I get physically. I blinked and could have sworn I noticed the tacky wood paneling on the walls of my mother's bedroom shrinking toward me. Another vibration from the corner. I shudder at the thought of reading his messages. But I know better than to leave them unread. Springing to my feet, I snatch my purse from the floor and unearth my cellphone.

 I'll find out where you are. You think I can't just search it up?

Answer me.

My heart dropped into my empty stomach and ricocheted throughout it's hollowness. Why can't he just leave me alone? I never accepted his advances toward me, no matter how innocent they came across at first. My roommates would tell me how I was imagining things. They would insist I give him a chance because they were tired of him always texting them. Asking where I am. What I'm doing. Why I'm avoiding him.

Langley is a big city, as far as I'm concerned. There should be lots of girls there for him. Maybe a girl that wants to be with him. He's the one that drove me away, but it was always him that accused me of wrongdoings. Everything was my fault. How dare I ignore him. He loves me, he said. He'd been waiting for me his whole life, and here I was. And what a good thing it was he didn't have the guts to kill himself the year before, he'd tell me. It hurt too much to think about himself, so he just focussed on me.

I've gone over 800 kilometres just to dissuade his incessant text messaging. I moved back into my mother's house for god's sake. I did everything I could to get out of Langley as soon as possible without him knowing what I was doing. I've made nothing but abrupt decisions the last few weeks; made excuses for why I'm not at home, or at work. 

Work.

I left a job I really liked because of him! Because he scares the hell out of me.

"What's this?" I remember my manager asking me.

"My notice. I'm leaving the city."

"What for? Trouble with your roommates?" She had asked with a certain knowing look. Obviously thinking of the petty roommate quarrels I'd mentioned to her  to help pass time at the store.

"Yes." I had told her. Which wasn't exactly a lie. But it was far from the truth.

"Why don't you give it some time? I have a fully furnished basement in my house you're welcome to. What do you say?"

"I can't."

Just two days ago my manager was offering me her basement suite. She didn't want to see me go. If only my leaving had been because of roommate drama, and I wish it were that simple, I would have taken her offer. But unfortunately, he knew where I worked. And he would be there every day to wait for me like he always did. It wouldn't be long before he found out where I was staying, and I'd be in the same boat as before. A tiny boat caught in choppy seas right before a storm. If I'm not vigilant, the storm will overtake me. One wrong move and I'll be drowning. Hopefully I've made the right move; into safer waters. 

For now, I'm back in my small hometown where I belong. 

And I pray to god he never finds me here.