London

39 - "I don't believe I'm cut out for children."

"I have to start there on Monday."

"It will be okay," she says, and maybe it is the fact that she's giving me useful advise that she hasn't given me in years or just the bitterness of the situation that makes me snort.

"Sure it will," I tell her. "Let's just go to sleep."

I don't need to tell her twice and she lets herself slouch down the headboard and settles on her pillow. Judging by her breathing, it doesn't take her long to fall asleep and I stay on the chair until I know for sure that she's peaceful and without pain. After thirty minute I stand up and go to my own room where I strip down to nothing and manage to fall asleep for a few hours. A new record.

****

Abby has given me one job to begin with and that is sort out her administration. Apparently that was her husband's job and after his death, she has been putting it off. She pays her bills, but hasn't bothered to really dive in and see what is coming in and what she's spending. Money isn't my favorite thing to deal with or think about, but it keeps my mind off my mother who is now home alone. It's stupid to worry about her because she's been alone there for the majority of the time and she prefers me out of the house. Dying can happen any day, any time, being in the house of Abby reminds me of that. 

Having lost her husband in a car crash, her and her daughters life changed drastically in the course of days. In a much less serious sense I know what that's like, but it doesn't compare to what they must have gone through. Abby seems okay, but maybe that's just her being a professional when she's around my mother. Maxime was quiet the moments when I helped her get to school in time, but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the loss of her dad. For all I know she was always a quiet girl, even before her dad died. But I know how the passing of a parent can change you, I've seen it first hand with Alex. That very first year in Palas we were compatible. She brought out the best in me and I in her, but somewhere that changed and it probably had to do with that as well. 

I get through the days without much of a hassle, organizing everything in neat piles only thinking about how ridiculous this all is for the half of it. During it I manage to clean up her house, the mess the only indication that maybe Abby isn't doing as well as she lets on. After two weeks the administration is done and I feel guilty even asking money for it. Maybe with the rent being stopped in a few days, I can manage without it.

"Look," I say when Abby returns home from a night shift, Max eating the breakfast I made. "I don't really need the money. Everything is in order now."

"I'd still like for you to help with Maxime," Abby says, rubbing her eyes as she pours a glass full with water. 

"There's coffee," I offer, but she shakes her head.

"Can't sleep if I drink coffee now, but Harry, I thought we agreed on this. I'll pay you. I need help with Maxxie, too."

"Max," she mumbles.

"Well, with Max," she says, clearly tired. "I can't keep this all together on my own."

"Isn't there someone else that can help?" I ask, feeling a bit guilty for it, but children aren't my strongest suit. "It's just, I can do administration and cook and clean, but I don't work well with kids. No offense, Max."

"Non taken," she says, grinning. 

"I don't know," Abby says, looking from Max to me, "but it seems to me that you are with Max."

"Also, I'm not a kid," Max adds.

I roll my eyes to that, and sigh. "Fine then."

"Great," Abby speaks, getting up from her seat. "Can you bring Maxxie to school? It is pouring out. Then I can go to bed for a few blissful hours and meet you at your mother's."