Heaven

Broken

I bite my lip while smiling slightly, I shake my head and try to avoid his intense eyes. Whenever I look at him it feels like I'm being swept away.

It felt odd, how he was just one person but could make me feel all these strange things.

"I'm a monster," I sob out quietly.

Of course though, Ben heard with his werewolf super hearing and his head shot up so he could look me in the eyes.

And the moment I locked eyes with him it felt like I was taken down by waves and being swallowed by the under toe.

"I'd have to disagree," He says, "Just because you have the genes of a monster doesn't make you one," He says.

I rose an eyebrow, "Yes it does." I argue.

He chuckled while shaking his head, "You're choices and actions, the decisions you make are what make you the monster. If you choose to be more than a monster than you'll have a close to normal life," 

"And if I choose not to be more?" I ask.

His eyes darkened and glowed a deep gold, "You become the monster you were afraid of, and there's never going back,"

His words sent shivers throughout my body and I felt my heart quicken. The way he said it.

"You believe you're a monster?" I question out slowly, glancing into his glowing eyes.

His face contorted and you could see his canines extending, he snapped them at me.

"I am a monster, I made the wrong decision fully knowing there wasn't going back," He growled out.

I shook my head, "Why? Tell me why you made that decision? Why you let yourself become the monster?" I ask softly.

He grumbled loudly, his growls echoing through the night, the moonlight shining down on us.

"Everything began spiralling out of control around me and I thought it was easier to just let go. Let go of control and let the beast take over," He says deeply.

I chew my bottom lip, his eyes glowed through the dark and it was almost memorizing.

"If you're a monster, why do I have this unbearable draw to you?" I ask, feeling his eyes roam across my face.

I continued chewing on my bottom lip and felt heat rise to my cheeks, "I can't explain it," He retorts.

I crawl towards him slowly, watching as he grew tense the closer I got. I rose my hand and placed it on his cheek, the moment our skin made contact a bright light appeared and I was thrown away from him like a blast just went off.

"Iliana!" His growl pierced through the air while I rolled over whimpering.

Within moments he was hovering above me, his eyes shining bright while his hands brushed the hair out of my face. 

"Why would you do that?" He snapped, flashing his canines down at me.

I roll my eyes and shook my head, "I thought I hurt you," I blurt out, feeling my heart slam against my chest.

I thought that I hurt him, I know my powers are out of control and there was definitely no control when Benjamin was around.

"I thought I seriously hurt you Ben," I say, he moves away from me. His eyes grown wide and his body gone tense.

Frowning I stare at him, "Ben?" I ask again.

"Stop," He growled lowly.

He flashed his teeth before turning away, "Ben, I don't-" He cut me off by snarling at me.

"Stop," He growled again.

I chewed my bottom lip nervously, "Ben." I whisper out.

He lunged at me and hovered over my body while pinning my arms above my head, his chest was heaving up and down.

"Stop saying my name," He growled.

I rolled my eyes and looked up at him, "Benjamin," I say sternly looking at him.

He snapped his canines in my face while growling lowly, "I can't control the beast when you do that," He snaps lowly. His voice coming out deep and raspy.

He hovered over me and our chests were nearly brushing against one another's. It felt suffocating once again, like I couldn't breathe.

"I don't understand, the beast gets out of control when I say what? Ben?" I question and his face was suddenly above mine.

Our breaths now mixed and my heart thudding loudly in my ears, "I can't control myself around you," He snapped.

His glowing eyes staring into mine. I wasn't sure who I was talking to in that moment. Ben - or the beast.

A wicked smile crossed his lips, "You question if I'm the beast or Ben, but I'm both." His raspy voice says.

I grabbed his hand in mine and felt shocks shoot throughout my body, a light appeared between us, although this time it wasn't painful.

It was as bright as Bens eyes, and flowed around us.

His eyes followed it as it flowed around us, "See, you aren't bad Ben," I whisper and that's when his eyes snapped shut and he grabbed his hand from mine, pinning me down once again.

"Leave me alone," He snapped before falling beside me and turns into his wolf form. I watch as he runs away quickly, never once looking back at me.

I felt a wave of emotions come over me as I lie on my back, staring up at the night sky.

Everything around me was crashing in and I didn't know what to do. Maybe I should do what Benjamin did and just let go of control.

But than I really would be a monster.

Maybe it would be for the best.

Everything was spiralling out of control.