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after that birthday party, i excused myself. to be honest, the people there ; they're really kind and sweet. especially aya. well strangely, they made me laugh when i feels like i can't even smile anymore. it was good being there, it makes me forget about my pathetic life for awhile. but sadly, i can't be there for a long time, i need to go back. nadine and the others must been so worried.
and jimin too, perhaps. i've never been away for so long. and its almost 8pm now.
i search for my phone in my pocket but ugh. my forgetful ass left my phone in nadine's office this morning. seriously soyeon? if my head wasn't attached to my neck, i guess i would've left it too. luckily i got few money to take the bus to go home.
i waited for awhile at the bus stand and later, it came. with a heavy heart, i get into that vehicle ; searching for a single seat. should i go home? or not? i keep thinking but geez. what choice do i have? the shared apartment is the only place i have. will he be there? waiting for me? i close my eyes and lean back to the seat. how i wish our first meet like everyone else.
han soyeon. a woman come from a happy and stable family, good background, woman with cool career met park jimin the hot issue in town, normally. probably their first meet was in a cozy coffee shop, or a library. or maybe a bookstore? that would be so normal and cool. sigh. how i wish that i can turn back time and restart my life again. so that i will meet him in a better condition and situation. so that those unfortunate incidents wouldn't happened. so by now, we can be successful together, living together as a family. a happy one.
"..you keep showing the signs that you're pregnant."
nadine's words come across my mind. as a reflect, i rubs my tummy. no, it can't be. i made sure that i took my pills. but even if its true, i can't. this child deserves a better mom. i can't raise him with all my mess. i'm not capable of doing that. i don't have anything to give him. imagine him growing up, with an embarrassing mom like me. oh god please, don't let that happen. i don't want to ruin someone else's life no more.
as if the sky understand my feelings, it started to rain outside. the chill of the wind, the dark clouds, it all feels familiar. but i just can't cry anymore. i've been crying a lot today.
i look at the ring he gave me that day. babe, i understands if we are not meant to be. but deep down, i still hope you're the one for me. i love you so much. more than anything in this world.
-
with heavy, slow steps and wet hair, soyeon walked to the door. she saw from the outside earlier, their house was dark. no one is there. he's not there.
she walked inside and found the house is still empty. the house stayed clear, untouched. ignoring her drenched clothes and wet hair, she sat on the couch. she didn't even bother to switch on the lights, or turn on the heater. all in her mind ; thinking if he still mad, if she should try harder.
but suddenly, the door clicked opened and a familiar figure comes in. soyeon immediately gets up. "babe,"
jimin switch on the light and stood there, froze for seconds before he pulled that petite figure into a tight hug. like they haven't met in years, he continuously kissed her head. "baby where have you been? i've been searching for you all day long," without caring about her soaked clothes, he hugged her tighter. "i thought you leave me,"
"i'm sorry.." soyeon couldn't describe how relieved she felt that she could be in his embrace like this again. suddenly she feels like she's really home. "babe i can explai─" she pulled back but jimin put a finger on her lips.
"shhh. don't. you don't have to explain anything." he holds her cheeks. "i'm sorry. i'm very, very sorry." jimin bend down, resting his forehead on her forehead. "i promise i'll never hurt you like that again. i'm sorry." finally, his tears that he held all day long flowed down to his cheeks. "i feel like dying when i couldn't find you anywhere today. thank you for coming back to me. i love you so much."
soyeon said nothing but she cried harder while hugging him. i love you too, park jimin. i really really do.
-
"tomorrow, let's pack our things and leave this place. where no one can find us." jimin said, while hugging soyeon from her back in the bath tub.
"but where?" soyeon asked.
jimin rest his chin on her shoulders. "somewhere far from here." he intertwined their hands together.
"but how about your family? your mom─"
"we've been thinking about them a lot all this while. to take care of their feelings. but right now, lets just think about us. lets be happy. only both of us. hm?"
soyeon turn around to look at him. she look into his eyes for awhile and slowly, she nodded. jimin's lips curved into a smile and then he pulled her close to him for a kiss.
