Fall in May

~33~ How to build a better Butcher?

"How do you do that second twisty thing?" He frowns down at me.

Gotcha! So I put today's lesson in Chaos math, into a simple sports analogy for The Butcher Boy.

"Okay Butchy, has your coach ever overuse the expression, 'we just play our game our way, not their game their way', in his pump you up for the big game speeches?"

"Sure, all the time." Nail on the head folks, and we have a winner!

"Awesome." I agree with myself. "So when you are out there on the field playing your game your way. But then the other team starts to play hard, you play even harder, right?"

"Always" He nods along like this is gospel. Probably because in his weird world of Gods Game, it probably is the closest thing to catechism.

"But if they play dirty, do you play dirtier? Or do whine to the referee after the game? That it's not fair you lost because the Other team played dirty and cheated to win?"

"The games over by then?" Butchy frowns. "So no. I mean yeah? I get in their flocking faces and play dirtier than they ever could. Smash their dicks down into the dirt, until they cry for their coaches."

"So you figure out how you beat them at their own game, right? They'll call it winning by the way." I slip this thought right past him. "But me? I say you started this shit, but I'll finish it. Right?"

"Oh yeah." He grins proudly. 

Yeah, you got to love The Butchers of the world, they make such great police. It doesn't matter how you win, because it's only the score that counts in the end, not how ya get there.

"So take that life philosophy, that you obviously use so well on the field, and bring it home to roost here." I bait the trap for the monster. "To put it simply, you cheat the cheating test."

"No way guy. I get caught cheating and then I'm done for. No game, no team ...then I'm just a dummy and a cheater? No flocking way, flock that noise." Butchy shakes off the easy way out. 

"C'mon guy you know that little Dickhead just hovers around behind us in the back. Always watching me like a hawk flock during tests, just hoping I'll do something to screw up." Now it's time for Butchy to share a secret. "Besides my eyes aren't that clear for little things. So I can't scope papers around me without looking hard. Trust, I would be so obvious about it ...shit flock ...I would bust me for cheating."

"All true." I smile way ahead of him on his journey of self-discovery. "But that also means if he is watching you like a hawk, then he's not watching everyone else? Now is he?"

"Okay, so what? How does that help me out?" Butch scowls.

"Think about it for a second?" I start to unveil his new outlook on academic counterinsurgency. "What is he always watching you for exactly? Crib notes? Cheatsheets? The old lean over side looks to copy? All the standard stuff for something that he can bust, right?"

"Right." Turning his frown upside down.

"Then don't do any of that." I shrug him off and then teach him a little Chaos magic. "Don't bother sneaking around hoping they don't see you trying to beat them at their own game."

"Instead, just you do it right in front of Or'sir's face. And trust me, he'll never see it coming. Cause that little arrogant idiot is so easy to fool, it's not even funny. All you have to do is show him the proper amount of disrespect? Then you can twist him around all day long. Probably cause he doesn't respect himself at all, so he demands that everyone else does."

But I can see that Butchy is not quite buying into all this anarchy, yet. So it's time to use a little trick I learned from Gromit about stupid people. Don't argue with their opinions, argue your confusion, and sooner or later they will just get bored of explaining themselves and just leave you alone.