Lucas: Pansexual? No I said I was pastasexual. I'm going to fuck the linguini.
Madi: *in the background* Lucas no.
Lucas: Lucas yes.
___________________
(Future au btw lol)
Jenna: I'm thinking of proposing to (pick your poison/bf here) soon.
Malfoy: TOO YOUNG. NEIN. YOU ARE 21 YEARS OLD. TOO YOUNG MY LITTLE BABY SISTER.
Jenna: 21 isn't you-
Malfoy: YES IT IS. YOU ARE ONLY JUST OVER 20 YEARS OLD. YOU ARE STILL A BABY, EVEN THOUGH YOU APPEAR TO BE A FULLY GROWN WOMAN.
Malfoy: YOU ARE STILL A BABY. BABIES CANT GET MARRIED. NO MARRIAGE, BABY SISTER. NEIN. I HAVENT EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE THING.
Jenna: That thing?
Malfoy: ...
Malfoy: THE THING. THE BED THING. THE UNDERCOVER COUPLE TWISTER. THE WHOOHOO. THE BED BOOGIE.
____________________
(Lolol idk)
<Mayasasarcasticshit has just posted (3) Pictures. View them?>
<Yes> <No>
(Picture 1: Maya is holding a fancy glass filled with white wine. Caption reads- Mama would be so proud)
(Picture 2: A bottle of Canada Dry (ginger ale) enters the picture. Caption reads- HAHA jk)
(Picture 3: Maya is drinking Canada Dry (ginger ale) straight from the bottle. Caption reads- Délicieux)
Comments(1):
Ladycooncoon:
(There is an attatchment. Open it?
<Yes> <No>)
(The attachment is a blurry picture of Ella with comical tears rolling down her face. Caption reads- mMAYA nONN!!)
(Post ends here.)
________________________
Malfoy: Look at the stars, Mudblood. Aren't they beautiful?
Maya: Sure.
Malfoy: You know what else is beautiful?
Maya:
Malfoy: Me.
Malfoy: I am beautiful.
Malfoy: lololololol
Maya: [Hatred intensifies]
__________________________
(Au where Maya has someone they are shipped with)
Maya: *sits down with knitting needles*
Jenna: *knitting* Was (instead name here in uncreative) being oblivious again?
Maya: *angry knitting noises*
Jenna: Ah, I see.
(Extra)
Maya: *holds open scarf that says (Insert name here) IS A DICK* I'm done!
Jenna: Nice, I can really feel the sexual tension.
_____________________________
Madi: Check this out.
Madi: *falls into the snow*
Madi: *poof she's gone*
Maya: Holy shit.
_________________________
(Shopping with the squad, a series of train wrecks- By Ella)
Ella: *raises voice slightly so, Maya and Alex can hear) You guys want Doritos?
Alex: (at full volume) IM ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS.
(This has been shopping with the squad. Next episode: Bed Bath and Bodyworks, an experience.)
_________________________
Julia: *in a crowd and can't find Maya* This calls for drastic measures.
Julia: *into a megaphone* I ATE ALL OF MAYAS CANDY.
Maya: *from across the street* YOU WHAT.
Julia: Oh there they are.
Julia:
Julia:
Julia: Why do they have an axe.
_______________________
Texts Between Asexual! Maya and S/O
S/o 👭: Tell me something that'll make me hot.
The rate of global warming has been increasing by nearly 3x as much over the last three decades- Maya
S/o 👭: Yes, that's definitely what I meant. Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
S/o: I want to kiss you everywhere.
EVERYWHERE?- Maya
S/o: Mmmhmmm
Omaha, Nebraska?
Springfield, Ohio?
RED LOBSTER? -Maya
S/o- Stop.
Radio Shack?? -Maya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
S/o: 🍆💦🏄🏻♀️
S/o: Ignore that last emoji.
Wait are you milking an eggplant? -Maya
S/o: Nevermind
Are you saying you want to water an eggplant garden, then watch point break??? -Maya
S/o: Please forget it
SURF NINJAS????? -Maya
-End-
YOU ARE READING
THE UNESSESARY HARRY POTTER AU BOOK NOBODY ASKED FOR BUT I MADE ANYWAY SO HA
HumorSup losers I made a book for the stuff I am continuously writing in my other story. Nobody asked for it but c'mon........ It was gonna happen eventually.
