London

35 - "It's lovely out today."

"I'm happy that you are with Liam now. You leveled him."

"Someone had to," she jokes. "Anyway, he asked me come in here to say you need to take your medication."

I close my eyes and let my head fall against the wall. It hurts but I try not to show her. "I'll be there in a second."

She nods and gets up from her spot, closing the door softly behind. Slowly I get up too and stretch my body. Sleeping here wasn't the plan and all my limbs feel incredibly cold and sore. If only there was someone to massage me, draw circles on my skin and let me fall asleep to the comfortable sound of snoring. With tears prickling behind my eyes, I wash my face with a splash of cold water and then leave the small bathroom that was the bed for my night.

In the kitchen I find both Liam and Nina and see that it is only seven in the morning. Nina has her working clothes on and she must be about to head out to the store.

"Good Morning," I mumble to Liam who's eyes betray how he really feels about seeing me, but he keeps calm and doesn't comment on my appearance which is awful. He shoves me a plate with pancakes- my favourite. I manage a smile as I start to eat them, surprised by my appetite.

"So I'm off then," Nina says, leaning in to kiss Liam on his lips for a second. "See you later."

"Bye," we both say and Liam takes a seat next to me.

"You look awful," Liam says the moment we hear the front door close. "You do know that you need to be in the hospital again today right? If you keep doing what you did last night, they will take you in."

"Just give me my meds," I tell him. "I know you took them away from me."

"Yes, because you are going to forget them and it is important that you take them around the same time everyday."

"I don't intend on getting up at seven every morning."

"Well, we are going to do that. You can't expect to suddenly feel better if you are going to keep doing the same things."

"I enjoy sleep, isn't that important to?"

"You can sleep, from eleven until seven. It's your own fault that you fall asleep later."

"Yeah, it was a fun night," I mumble.

He rolls his eyes, but I do remember his own girlfriend telling me how she agrees that Liam is lazy- it was one of the reasons we didn't function living together before because we have different idea's of what needs to be done in a household. But she said so herself that he's different for me and I know that to be the truth.

If this was Liam, totally heartbroken for many reasons, would I have the persistence and believe that he has in me after disappointing him again and again? I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to. I don't have his stamina. I might flush the toilet in normal circumstances and Liam not, but he's much stronger than I am. It's why Rosie, his childhood friend kept him close. Because she needed him when times got rough and he's kind enough to not walk away. I know that too and have used that privilege a million times now. I only returned the favor a couple of times.

He appreciates his sleep just as much as me, maybe even more, and he's willing to get up with me at seven everyday of the week if that's what it takes to get me better. So why do I feel the need to treat him indifferently? I love him to death and I have been able to pull myself for others before. I was always okay for my father. Me being the one getting up with him to make sure he'd get at work on time and what not. I did it all because I loved him and that changed after he died. Slowly I slipped into the dark hole I am in today and maybe all I need is someone like Liam persistent enough to drag me from that dark place. I should accept his help and do everything in my power to not end up in the hospital again.